Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. Kari is a fellow Big Bang Theory fan, and she’s sharing her unexplained infertility story today. I’m so happy to feature her!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Kari. I am 32 years old and live in the South. I have lived in the same state my entire life and currently I live only 20 minutes away from where I grew up! My husband and I met about 8 years ago at church. We have been married for 7 years. We have two obnoxious schnauzers – they would like me to think they are human. I absolutely LOVE hockey. My husband and I love to go to games and you can usually find me streaming games or watching it on TV. I am a talker and love making people laugh with my random ideas or thoughts. I also love taking “selfies” and honestly don’t know why (HAHA).
Q. How long have you been trying to TTC and what issues are you facing?
We have been TTC for about 3 years. The first year we were dealing with issues as a result of my gallbladder removal and had to wait for approval from my regular doctor as well as an obgyn before we were given the go ahead to continue TTC. Following that green light it felt like forever – nothing was happening. We couldn’t get pregnant and the OBGYN I was seeing was not helpful. After returning to my regular doctor she requested I wait until we had “officially” been trying regularly for a year before she would refer us to an RE. We began seeing an RE in November of 2012. During this time we had several tests completed and most recently I even had a laparoscopy to test for endometriosis over a month ago to determine why I have terribly painful cycles and nothing was found. We have had over 6 cycles used in conjunction with fertility medication that even resulted in two pregnancies. One pregnancy ended in miscarriage after 7 weeks and another was classified as chemical pregnancy. Our technical diagnosis is Unexplained Fertility.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
I do read my Bible and I LOVE TWITTER where I follow all of the inspirational women and families who are walking or who have walked this same “road.” Both of those are outlets of inspiration to me.
I am also a huge music lover – always have been. I like many different types of music and through this journey I always find songs that “speak” to me.
- “Everything Will Change” by Gavin DeGraw. This song just speaks to me. It talks about how you can go through all of these tough things but eventually you can get back up and things will be different if you will just try. You can “come back” from anything.
- “Healing Begins & Strong Enough to Save You” by Tenth Avenue North & “Life My Life Up” by Upspoken. All of these songs (which often bring tears to my eyes) remind me that I am not alone in this – God will help me through this even when I think that life isn’t going to get better. He is there with me every step of the way.
My husband I love to watch TV and movies. I watch the Big Bang Theory & Fast N Loud when I need a good laugh or need a distraction. I don’t know what it is about these two shows but they provide a distraction for me and it has provided me an outlet to relax when life isn’t always so smooth.
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
In the beginning of this “journey” we were somewhat quiet and did not talk about it much other than when we went to the doctor. As we have gone along we talk about it often and are much more open with everyone else in our lives.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
Taking care of myself even before infertility has always been a challenge for me. I have a tendency to get wrapped in whatever I am focusing on – whether that is work or grad school. I have tried to make my spirituality a focus when I notice I have neglected it. I spend a lot of time making sure I am feeling well emotionally and for me the best thing is to surround myself with supportive family or friends. My friends have been a great distraction when I need it or a great sounding board when I need to vent or cry.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
My miscarriage. We had just heard the heart beat at the beginning of the week last April and by the end of the week the miscarriage had started. It was so hard. During that time I probably didn’t rest enough but I quickly returned to work and tried to stay busy. Overtime I talked with friends and family anytime I needed to. I have survived it by remembering for me this is a part of my life and it certainly is not anything to be ashamed of or quiet about if I don’t want to.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
I have had the opportunity to interact (even if it is via email, Twitter and Facebook) with some incredibly strong women. This interaction reminds me that infertility may feel like a lonely road but there is strength and support in numbers out there if you just look for it.
Q. Anything else you’d like to tell my readers?
Talk. Sometimes it is hard to talk about stressful/difficult things but it so important! First of all talk to your spouse! Even if infertility is as a result of one person’s medical need you are going through this together. Second – find friends and family to talk to. Not all of your friends and family will understand but there are some who will listen. Some of my friendships have grown so much stronger because we can listen to each other.
To me infertility is a long road and each person travels that road differently. For us, we are taking a break for a few months from our RE and then will decide how far we might take treatments. We are also going through the process to adopt concurrently (at the moment). We nearly have all of our paperwork in to go on to the next step! We have always wanted to adopt we had just assumed we would do it later in life but we are going to do it now. While adoption may not be for everyone we are extremely excited about what the future holds for us!
Many thanks to Kari for sharing her story. Please leave a comment below to let her know she’s appreciated, and please consider pinning this image so others can find her story.