Mercy & Grace During Infertility

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” – Hebrews 4:16


When you spend a lot of time in the online infertility community, you start to notice a theme among all the blogs and tweets: envy and a need for grace.

So this verse struck as me as especially poignant when I read it this morning because it offers encouragement for anyone experiencing either of those challenges.

“So let us come boldly..”

When we talk to God, we can be be confident in our approach. We don’t have to worry about whether or not He’ll accept us or our prayers; He tells us to be bold.

“…we will receive His mercy…”

In the context of this verse, mercy isn’t referring to relief from suffering or pain. It’s referring to the forgiveness of our sins. I don’t believe it’s wrong to feel a sense of inner struggle or conflict when we are faced with babies and pregnant women around us. However, when left to fester, this struggle can turn into envy and envy is sin.

Some people might not agree that envy is sin. But surely we can all acknowledge that infertility can bring out the worst in us. We’ve all felt moments of shame after acting harshly toward our spouse or being rude to someone who made an insensitive comment.

The good news is that God is offering us his mercy and his forgiveness. Infertility is already a heavy load for us to carry, but we don’t have to worry about carrying sin or shame on top of it.

“…we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

God promises us grace when we need it most. But what is grace?

It’s actually a gift or a blessing from Jesus. Some translations of the Bible use words like “credit,” “favor,” or “concession.” One Bible commentary says that grace is “God freely extending” and “reaching / inclining” Himself towards his people.

Could you use a blessing or some favor from God during your struggle with infertility? I know I could.

Let’s make sure we understand that there’s no promise the blessing will be in the form a baby. But we can be sure that He will give us what we need when we need it.

Maybe it’s patience when your husband refuses to get a sperm analysis.

Maybe it’s compassion when a friend complains about their pregnancy.

Maybe it’s peace when the money has run out.

Maybe it’s true joy when your much-younger sibling announces her honeymoon baby.

Maybe it’s wisdom as you consider adoption.

Maybe it’s comfort when your treatment fails.

Maybe it’s love as you deal with your unsupportive in-laws.

Whatever you need, you can be confident that God hears you and will only give you the best when you approach him.

What blessing do you need from God right now? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

  • Such great thoughts Lisa! Thank you for sharing 🙂

    • Lisa Newton

      Thanks, Elisha!

  • Abby

    Thanks so much for this reminder, Lisa! It definitely spoke to my heart this morning.

    • Lisa Newton

      I’m so glad, Abby. And I’m so touched that you’re so faithful in reading my blog. Miss you!

  • Such a good word! So thankful we can approach the throne with confidence – especially since he already knows our hearts desires and our every day thoughts! He is so faithful and consistent – it just blows me away. What a good word for all of us to read!

    • Lisa Newton

      Thanks, Caroline!

  • I think infertility can bring out all sorts of emotions in us. I’ve always been of the opinion that it’s not envy or jealousy of themselves that are the problem but more what we do with them. How do we respond when those feelings rise up within us? It’s so easy to feel guilty. I hate it that my first reaction (once I can be in private) to someone close to me getting pregnant is to cry. It’s hard when someone has an “oops” pregnancy when I’ve been trying for more than 6 years. i see crying out to God as being necessary and important in being able to respond in a Christlike way. Mostly it’s the feeling of being left behind. Someone being pregnant or having a baby forces me to face my own pain and perhaps opens me up to insensitive comments from others. God’s grace helps me to respond well and remain in relationship with my pregnant friends. I’ve learnt that it’s ok and normal to feel my pain while also being genuinely happy for them.

  • While I have not struggled with infertility, I still need lots of grace as a wife and parent. I’m in a season of weariness, desperate for refreshment and hope too.

    • Lisa Newton

      I’m so sorry to hear you’re in a weary season, Julia. Praying refreshment and blessings for you. xx

  • What a beautifully written post and verse. I think you are so inspiring for others that are going through infertility and it’s amazing that you continue to support that community and share your experiences, thoughts, and advice. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round! #sharewithme

  • Cait

    I “accidentally” stumbled upon your blog, and since then I have begun the “31 Days of Prayer”. I have been so encouraged by reading them. Thank you for letting God use your struggle to bless others going through the same thing.

    • Cait, I’m so sorry you’re walking this infertility journey, too. But I’m glad that you’re encouraged my 31 Days series. Blessings to you!

    • Yaeko Won

      Hello, my colleague got ahold of a fillable UT TC-123 document using this

  • ShaunFrye709

    Useful commentary ! I Appreciate the specifics . Does anyone know if my assistant could find a blank Form 1 form to use ?