Results of our 3rd IVF Cycle

3rd-ivf

The past 10 days have been a mixture of anxiety and joy, fear and hope.  I wasn’t quite sure when or how I should write this post.

On Wednesday, March 25th I had my first beta. It came back at 67, but I didn’t find that out until I went in for my second beta on Friday. That one came back at 207. On Sunday, it had increased to the upper 500s. Our fourth and final beta last Tuesday came back at 1183.

So, I’m pregnant! I’ve felt everything from elation to utter fear and anxiety- especially during the 48 hours between the betas. Honestly, the elation has only lasted for about 5 minutes after the getting the good news for each beta. Then my mind immediately starts worrying about the next step.  I’ve been having some light spotting (which I know can be normal), but it’s been contributing to anxiety.

My husband, who is generally a much more optimistic and hopeful person than me, is encouraging me to let my joy be complete and not guarded. He knows that we’re not out of the woods yet, but he’s been able to fully celebrate each step and not get too worried about what’s next. I haven’t been able to really do that yet.  People who do know about our news want to tell me their pregnancy stories and talk about names, due dates, or nursery plans.  But I don’t want to do that yet.  I feel like I know too much. Like infertility has robbed me of being able to enjoy the fact that I’m pregnant.

We have an ultrasound scheduled for April 14th, and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to celebrate a little more if we see a heartbeat.

My blog tagline says “Inspiration and Encouragement During Infertility,” and I intend to keep this a blog about infertility. This will not become a pregnancy blog. Here’s my plan:

  • I will keep posting my regular schedule of interviews, essays, and encouraging posts.
  • I will give very brief updates on my progress, but I’ll always put a warning before doing so.
  • I will not post bump pictures, ultrasound pics, etc. Once I get to the point where I’m feeling a little more confident about the pregnancy, I may post updates and pics on my personal blog. I may periodically mention that I have an update on my personal blog, and give a link for those of you who want to read it. For those of you who don’t want to read about it, I completely understand and will not be offended. The main point I want to make is that I don’t want you to worry about coming to my blog and being surprised by pics or posts that may cause you pain.

If you know me offline or are friends with me on my personal Facebook, please do not mention the pregnancy there yet. I know that by posting it here on this blog, I’m technically “going public.” However, I’m not quite ready to go fully public by putting it on my personal Facebook for all my acquaintances and colleagues to see. Also, I do have several people I’m connected with on my personal Facebook profile who are going through infertility themselves, and I don’t want their feeds bombarded with my congratulatory posts.

I’m so thankful for all the support and encouragement I’ve received over the past week or so. I haven’t known how to respond as I was waiting to see if the betas continued to grow. Please continue to send us prayers and good thoughts!

  • This fills me with so much joy! I have checked every day, hoping for this news!

    I know how terrifying pregnancy after infertility can be, and waiting for betas is one of the scariest parts. But those betas are beautiful. With betas like that, you have such a high chance of a perfect, healthy baby. It doesn’t erase the fear, but hold onto the assurance of those numbers.

    I hope you post as many updates as you want to write on your personal blog (or on here)! I know you don’t want to hurt others, but you have also been through so much hell during your struggle and your story will bring hope to others. It will also be a blessing to all you have prayed for you in your journey. People like seeing the fruit of their prayers (as I am experiencing right now… I have never gotten so many likes on Facebook as I do with pictures of our miracle baby!)

  • Amie Price

    Congrats!! This is wonderful news!! I totally get being optimistic but cautious I feel the exact same way right now even though every appointment so far has been good. I can’t seem to break the thought of “ok when is it going to end”. Prayers for you and your sweet baby 🙂

  • Amanda

    Congrats!! So happy for you! I know the worries and difficulty finding the blind excitement everyone else outside the IF world can have. Each appt is simply relief and counting down to the next one. It has eased but isn’t gone. You aren’t alone in this. We will all have excitement for you!!! ❤️

  • Kate

    Congratulations!! Awh – so, so happy for you!
    I love that you’re still so kind hearted to us infertiles and the future plan for your blog. You are so wonderful!
    Looking forward to following along on your journey. Way to go mama!!

  • Maggie

    Congratulations!!

  • Rach

    Congrats,Lisa!! Yayyy! It’s normal to feel that way…step by step. We.pray that everything goes well.

  • Monica Hilliard-Gilbreth

    I am literally crying with joy for you. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. I know what you mean about ring robbed of the innocence most women have when they find out they’re pregnant. I can’t wait for you to reach the point when you can fully enjoy this even if that only comes when baby arrives! I for one cant wait to read your updates. Its only an envouragement to me. Blessings and hugs to you!

  • Amanda

    Congratulations!! This is so exciting and I cannot wait to follow your journey. 🙂 🙂

  • Amanda Miguel

    Congratulations Lisa!!!

  • Sarah

    Congrats Lisa! Wonderful news!

  • Ann

    Yay! Congratulations! Totally understand your feelings. Hope the ultrasound will make you able to let go of anything holding you back from fully enjoying this. Many blessings!

  • Cory

    I’m just so happy for you. I hope you have a wonderful journey through pregnancy.

  • So happy that this has worked for you 🙂 I can imagine that after infertility it’s hard to feel free to totally celebrate. I think I’d probably feel that too. Even though I’ve never been pregnant yet, I’m coming to realise that the impact of infertility doesn’t end with pregnancy. There’s good stuff in that too though. You will continue to be a support and encouragement to many others on their journey. I’ve been waiting expectantly to see how this went for you. So pleased to read your news.

  • Choose2BHappy

    Thanks for the consideration and congrats

  • Jen Noonan

    Wonderful news Lisa! I’m so impressed with your empathy toward those who are struggling. It really shows you get it. I understand about being robbed of the joy of being pregnant. It’s a shame we enter into it cautiously, but you’re right – you know too much now. Congrats. I look forward to hearing more!

  • Abby

    Oh Lisa, I am thrilled at this news! I hope the two of you can both enjoy this time without fear robbing you of joy. I will continue to pray!

  • Congratulations! I am so happy for you! I love hearing happy infertility news – it gives me hope that my day will come 🙂

  • Praise God Lisa!!!!! I am elated for you!!!!

  • YAY!!! Congratulations Lisa! 🙂 So so happy for you! I want to share something with you that the Lord spoke into my spirit…. Last month 2 of my friends on my “baby prayer list” got pregnant. One had a miscarriage over a year ago and the other severely struggles with endo. They were both incredibly fearful as I can only imagine I would be. As I prayed for them one morning (out of deep sympathy knowing I would one day likely experience this fear), God answered with something I wasn’t expecting…. He encouraged me that one day when I do get pregnant that I need to praise Him and rejoice for the life that is. Every child created (whether lost in the womb or carried to birth) is a gift from Him…. I know it doesn’t take away the fear and I know that you believe all those things but if your anything like me fear can sometimes overwhelm the praising. I just wanted to encourage you in the way He did me to rejoice over this baby more than you fear for it. Regardless of the outcome of this pregnancy your sweet baby is a gift with a purpose from the Most High! 🙂

    So thrilled for you Lisa!

  • Greg

    Lisa,

    I am so happy for you. This has been a long time coming and you’ve been through so much. You deserve this. Best wishes.

  • Diane Rodriguez

    I am beyond elated for you! Congratulations and I wish you a boring, happy & healthy 9 months. IF can be such a negative experience, do not let that rob you of the daily joy of being pregnant. Today you are pregnant, rejoice in this beautiful statement. I will continue to pray for you.

  • Mrs. TTC

    I’m so happy for you Lisa! You give me so much hope that if I don’t give up it will happen some day!!! Praying for a healthy and happy baby!!!

  • whooo hooo! Congrats girl!! I was leaving walmart when your post came through my email and I held my breath until it would finally load (gotta love slow 3G when you need it to be fast) and I could read it! I’m so excited for you! Always praying! xo

  • Words truly escape me, Lisa! That doesn’t happen too often…LOL!! 🙂 I am just so overcome with praise and gratitude to God for this wonderful news!!!! I can’t praise Him enough to read these words, and you can count on my continued prayers for you and this precious little one! I also wanted to thank you for being so sensitive and kind in your words and in the delicate way you handle sharing good news here. I know you will always feel a tender spot and concern for those who are walking this path after you, and I commend you so much for that. May you just feel Jesus so close to you through every stage of this journey. He gave me a verse to share with you to claim as your own. Isaiah 40:11 “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” He is gently leading you, and He is carrying you….AND this baby in His bosom! What a comforting thought!! CONGRATULATIONS to you and your husband!!!!! ENJOY these moments….cherish them….own them…they are YOURS!!!!! Okay, so words didn’t escape me for too long….LOL!!!!! I am just SO excited for you!!

  • THIS is the post I have been praying to see! This brings me such tears of joy for you. I truly could not be happier for you. I am just elated to know that this is what we have been waiting to hear. I am relieved beyond words. Yay, yay, yay!! God is so very, very good!!! You will remain in my prayers. The uncertainty is a feeling with which I am completely familiar. Praying for continued good news!

  • Kris

    So very happy for you. I know all too well how scary the early days of pregnancy can be, especially after IF. I hope you are able to take deep breaths and power through to the place where you can enjoy it. All the best to you

  • Jen

    Congratulations!!! God is great! I think it’s normal to feel the fear and anxiety you describe after infertility. I did, and I still do, but it gets easier to feel more and more excited as time goes by. Hang in there…the wait to April 14th will probably feel like a lifetime. So happy for you guys!

  • Melanie

    Yay!! So happy for you! Love your blog! Thank you for inspiring so many to keep going!!

  • meghan

    HAPPY congrats to you and your husband, lisa! i am not one to normally post, but count me as a silent supporter. understandably, it is no surprise that you feel infertility has robbed you of the joys of pregnancy, but i hope that you feel more happiness and less restraint because you “know too much” as you progress in your pregnancy. you give others hope… thank you for that. MUCH love and happy thoughts to you!!

  • Jennifer Pulaski

    Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. I had been anxiously awaiting the results and I’m so glad for this good news.

  • Childless

    Hey Congratulations! Would you say going off tea has helped you this time in IVF? I drink two cups of tea everyday. It’s hard to come off it.

  • Bind My Wandering Heart

    Yay!!! Just read this and I am so excited! Congratulations 🙂 praying so much for your little miracle and that you feel a peace so you can truly enjoy this special time! x

  • Molly (The Modern Belly)

    Lisa, this is so exciting and I’m so so happy for you. I wish you a very happy, healthy and worry-free pregnancy (the last one is sometimes hard to find, especially after infertility, but you’re such a strong and optimistic lady that I’m sure you’ll be able to overcome the natural fears that come with pregnancy after IF).
    Also, as a side note, I’m really impressed by your ability to maintain TWO blogs at the same time. Way to go, girl.

  • Lois Flowers

    Oh, Lisa! I’m so happy for you and your husband! You are so thoughtful in how you’ve written about this, and it’s lovely to see all the encouraging wishes here in the comments. That’s a huge testament to the blessing that you and your blog are to so many people. I will keep praying and hoping that all continues to go well …

  • Jojo

    Congratulations! So sweet of you to consider others feelings. I agree with your husband to enjoy every second of this pregnancy even if you don’t know what’s to come. Today you are pregnant. The worry never stops after experiencing infertility so might as well get use to it.

  • YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats friend! What exciting news!

  • Such exciting news!!! I totally understand the feelings of anxiety. After dealing with infertility and then becoming pregnant, it feels in a way like you are living in a dream. Enjoy the first ultrasound!

  • Congratulations Lisa!!! 🙂 Sooo happy for you!! Stay happy & healthy! God bless!!

  • Aileen Pioquinto

    Congratulations, Lisa! Thank you for sharing this wonderful news! Continued prayers and love to you!

  • Thank you to everyone to commented. I’m overwhelmed by your support and love!

  • Amanda Greavu

    Ahhhhh! I’m so sorry I missed this!!! Congratulations!!! I completely understand being guarded and anxious… you’re right, you’ve seen too much. I’ll tell you what I constantly told Suzanne… when you can’t hope, you let your sisters hope for you. You stay guarded as long as you need too, but I’ll be hopeful for you! Your betas look great!!! I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday!

    • Thanks, Amanda. And don’t apologize for missing it! You have your hands full now! 🙂 Hope you are doing well,

  • Jami

    I’m new here, thinking about starting my own blog as we are about to begin our own IVF journey. Congratulations on your good news. As I was reading your story, I noticed that one supplement you don’t have listed is Vitamin D, my RE told me that I should be taking pre-natal and extra vitamin D as that has been shown recently to help prevent miscarriages. I don’t know any stats on that or anything, that is just what he told me and I thought I would share that to everyone who might be curious.

    • Hi Jami, thanks for the congrats. I actually have been taking Vitamin D supplements for several years, even before trying to conceive, because my bloodwork showed that it was consistently low. However, I stopped the supplements once I started stimming during IVF (per my RE’s recommendation). My prenatals contain a lot of it.