When does TTC become an obsession?

At what point does TTC become an obsession?

This is something that my husband and I have been wrestling with lately.

We both say that we want a child more than we want anything else in this earthly life.  He says that he doesn’t want a child just because of his own desires, but he wants a child because he knows how bad I want it too.

As Christians, we seek to desire Christ more than anything else.  Putting anyone or anything ahead of him is idolatry.  But we also recognize that God has given the human race a deep, innate desire to be parents.  We don’t believe that the desire for children is unhealthy in itself.

But at what point do all the treatments, tears, money, and anguish turn into something unhealthy?

I don’t know about you, but I think about having a child all day.  When I wake up in the morning, I’m immediately aware of what cycle day it is.  And I often wake up with a sense of loss and that something (someone- my child) is missing from my life.

I think about it at work.  I think about it in church.  I think about it all the time.

Part of me thinks this is natural given the circumstances I find myself in.  Not thinking about it would be a form of denial.

But sometimes I feel like it’s taking over my life, my thoughts, and my emotions, and I wonder if I’m slipping into the area of idolatry.

Obviously, my concerns are influenced by my faith.  But even if I wasn’t religious, I think I’d be worried as to whether or not it was becoming unhealthy.

I have no answers today.  Just questions.

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