Today’s interview is with Mary from A Neon Princess. She was kind enough to share her story with us. Enjoy!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Mary, and I attempt to blog over at A Neon Princess. My blog is about my life in general. Sometimes it’s about infertility, other times it’s about food, travel, or fashion. It’s a real reflection of what’s going on in my world/head. Hmmm…what else?
I’m turning 32 next week and get my blood results from this FET the day before! (It could be a very happy birthday for me) I’m married to the greatest guy on the planet. We’ve been married for nearly 5 years and have been together for 9. I have much to be grateful for.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what challenges are you facing?
Sheesh! We have been trying to conceive for a little over 3 years now. We tried for a full year on our own. After six months, we started using Ovulation Predictor Kits and though I ovulated monthly, we never got pregnant. After seeing our first RE, it was believed that I had endometriosis. After a laparoscopy, it was confirmed. I had endometrial tissue growing all over my pelvic area, including my ovaries. A month after my surgery to remove the abnormal tissue growth, another endometrioma grew back on one of my ovaries.
I was devastated. It seemed that this diagnosis was going to be a huge obstacle in our plans for children. The RE told me that the condition creates a “toxic” environment for reproduction. He recommended IVF, but we weren’t ready for that. We tried 3 rounds of unsuccessful IUI’s before we decided to pursue IVF.
Our first two IVF cycles resulted in no embryo transfers. It now looked like my eggs were of low quality as well as low quantity.
So that’s our story in a nutshell: I have endometriosis, poor ovarian response to medications, and possibly diminished ovarian reserve—what a bucket of joy!
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
There are so many lows associated with infertility, but my personal low was around the time that our IVF cycles ended up without embryos. The fact that I couldn’t even make it to a transfer was so disheartening, given that the RE told us this was our best chance to conceive. The chance ended up looking not so great. I cried—a lot. To make matters worse this was the same year 6 of my friends announced their own pregnancies (practically every one of my close girlfriends were pregnant). I felt as though I was being left behind to be sad on my own.
During this time my husband was my rock. He supported me, and understood why I couldn’t go to another baby shower. He was always hopeful for us, and reminded me not to get too out of control with my self-pitying fantasies.
I think time has been a major part of our healing process. I don’t feel nearly as sad or alone. I think part of it was just coming to terms with the way our journey was going to have to play out.
Q. Which songs, poems, blogs, quotes, verses, books, etc. have been encouraging to you during your journey?
The internet has given me a bit of sanity during this trying time. I found so many women going through similar situations, trying to make sense of it all through their blogs. I didn’t feel so alone. I spoke to my husband about these women as if they were my friends. It was a real comfort to know that I wasn’t the only one with funky eggs and a toxic uterus.
I also started a gratitude journal through the app “happier,” which has helped me to stay positive.
Don’t forget Pinterest! I have a whole board of inspirational quotes. One that’s helped me to stop obsessing over the future (because we all know we have no control over that) is “Whatever comes, let it come. Whatever stays, let it stay. Whatever goes, let it go.”
Q. You just had your first IVF transfer. What advice would you give to women who are facing their first IVF cycle?
Finally! We had our first transfer via FET. My advice to those of you facing your first IVF cycle is to try to do activities that will take your mind off of it, if only for an hour. It can be so all consuming and overwhelming. My first cycle I cried like crazy just looking at the amount of drugs I had to take. Try to be in the moment, not 2 steps ahead.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally during infertility?
The most helpful activities for me are ones that help me stay in the present. I tend to overanalyze and worry about every possible mishap. Massage therapy, restorative yoga (super relaxing), quilting, knitting, and of course vegging out in front of the tv have all helped calm me down.
Q. Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?
If you’re experiencing infertility, just know you are not alone though it may feel like it. I wish you lots of luck, and truly believe that every one of you that wants to be a mother, will be one in time. It just may not be in the way you expected.
Many thanks to Mary for sharing her story. Please leave a comment below to let her know you appreciate her, and consider pinning this image so others can read her story.
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