Whitney’s Infertility & Gestational Surrogacy Story

This week, I’m thrilled to interview Whitney from WhitneyAndErick.com. Whitney is the Co-Chair of Resolve’s Advocacy Day.  I’m so thankful she’s willing to share her story. Enjoy!

Q. Tell us a little about yourself.

My name is Whitney and I’m 36 years old. I live in Salem, Virginia, went to Virginia Tech and am a huge football fan. I blog at www.whitneyanderick.com about our life, struggles and travels. I absolutely love to travel and explore new countries! It was really helpful for me to have something to look forward to during all of the years of trying to conceive. By the way, we “just relaxed” on all of our trips. 😉

Q. How long did you TTC and what issues were you facing?

We ended up trying for 8 years before we were successful. I had luteal phase defect which was easily treated. I had a uterine septum and had surgery to have it removed. Then, we discovered clotting disorders and treated those. Ultimately, we determined that I have some sort of complex reproductive immunological problem that they aren’t sure how to treat at this point in time. We ended up doing 3 IUIs and 6 IVFs and while IVF helped me conceive, I miscarried every time — 5 in all. That’s why we moved on to surrogacy.

Q. You ultimately conceived twins after using a gestational surrogate. Can you tell us how you decided to go that route?

We decided on surrogacy because after a process of elimination, we determined my uterine environment must be the problem. Our embryos appeared to be healthy. I had some strange results on immunological testing and I always miscarried in the first trimester. When my doctor first mentioned it, I wasn’t ready to hear it. Later, when we knew it was our last hope, we embraced it, but it seemed so impossible and so expensive.

 

Q. What kind of reaction did you receive from friends and family when they found you you were using a gestational surrogate?

They were thrilled. My family and friends have been very supportive of us and they were all helping us look for a surrogate. They were hoping and praying we would find one.

Q. What would you tell someone who is considering gestational surrogacy?

It is possible to do without an agency! It’s hard and seems hopeless at times, but it is possible. We knew we couldn’t afford an agency and our only hope would be to find someone who really wanted to help someone and not make a lot of money. It was difficult to sit around and wait for someone to come along, since it was out of our control. But, ultimately, we got very lucky and our surrogate found us by reading a blog post I wrote on how to pursue gestational surrogacy in Virginia. So, we had really put ourselves out there in terms of looking. We told everyone we knew. We called pastors and asked around. I trolled forums. My friend posted my name and website on surrogacy articles online. One time, I had almost ten people contact me just from that. Who knows if they were serious leads because were already matched at that point. Another piece of advice is to find a good attorney who specializes in surrogacy.

Q. How did you get started working with RESOLVE?

When personhood legislation was introduced in Virginia, they asked me to speak out against it and I was happy to help. I went to our state’s capitol for a press conference and again to testify in front of a Senate sub-committee. I also became a peer-led support group leader by starting a group in Roanoke, in conjunction with my church.

Q. What sort of projects are you working on with RESOLVE right now?

Currently, I am the co-chair of Advocacy Day. Advocacy Day is our chance as a community to meet with and educate our elected officials about infertility and to advocate for current legislation that would help those those with this disease.

Q. What are some easy things anyone can to to advocate for infertility?

I think the easiest is to honestly and openly talk about infertility to whatever your comfort level allows. Maybe it’s only with your parents and siblings. Maybe it’s your closest friends. So many people don’t talk about it, so people are woefully uneducated about it. When things come up in conversation, we can gently correct old ways of thinking or things that are not true. Think about it: If every one us talks to a couple of people and they learn something about infertility or a myth is dispelled — that’s huge! Also, it’s easy to write letters and call your elected officials to ask them to support the Family Act (IVF tax credit) or the Adoption Tax Credit Refundability Act.

Q. Is there any thing else you’d like to share with my readers?

My heart aches for all of you that want to be parents. Seek out support if you haven’t already. Find a Facebook group or see if your city has a RESOLVE support group.

Many thanks to Whitney for sharing her story. Please leave a comment below to let her know you appreciate her. Also, be sure to stop by her blog! 

 

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