“Stress comes more naturally to us [than joy], and it takes intentional change and obedience to the Spirit to learn to live in joy.”- Holley Gerth, You’re Going to Be Okay
This quote is so true of me. Finding joy in infertility requires tremendous effort for me. I’ve always blamed it on my melancholic, ISTJ personality, but the truth is that sometimes it’s just easier to be stressed out than to be joyful. Sometimes I’m just too tired and too weak to try.
The past few days have been full of struggle and joylessness for me. The burden of a quickly-approaching 3rd IVF cycle is weighing heavily on me. But I’ve been comforted by a song from my childhood stuck in my head. Perhaps you know it from your Sunday School days, too.
The joy of the Lord is my strength (repeat 4x)
If you want joy you must clap for it (repeat 4x)
If you want joy you must sing for it (repeat 4x)
If you want joy you must pray for it (repeat 4x)
I remember singing this song and switching out the verbs for all kinds of silly actions- jumping, skipping, swaying, running, spinning, etc. As a child, this song was simply a fun way to get the wiggles out. But it planted a profound truth in my heart: Sometimes joy requires action.
Perhaps joy will never come naturally, especially in the middle of struggling with infertility. But instead of surrendering to joylessness, we must fight for joy. We must seek after it instead of expecting it to fall in our laps. If we feel we don’t have the strength to seek it out, we must remember strength comes through joy, not after it. In other words, joy provides strength.
This is hard, I know. Infertility wears us down and messes with our minds. Throw in a little Clomid or Lupron and you’ve got the makings of crazy. The good news is that joy doesn’t just give us strength; it gives us Christ’s strength. The weaker we are, the better his strength is perfected in us (2 Cor 12:9).
So dear friends, I hope you’ll join me in fighting for joy throughout all the darkness that infertility can bring.
“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”- Nehemiah 8:10 (NLT)
Want to dive deeper into cultivating a sense of joy? I highly recommend the Cultivate Joy / Write the Word Journal from Lara Casey. It contains specially-selected Scriptures on joy and room for you to write them out. There’s also plenty of space for you to journal your thoughts, prayers, or whatever is on your heart.
Looking for the free 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility printable that goes along with this post? Download it here.
Yes!!! Amen! I love this verse – I did it as one of my memory monday verses!!! So glad that even in the hard times His joy can be our strength!!
What a great verse. I hope you are hugged by angels and the joy comes back to you. I know it’s hard in hard times to stay positive and think of the whole big picture of life. My best friend really struggled with her ivf each time, she always try to think of things she is grateful for and positive happy memories to help her through it. So I pass on these things she always said to me. Biggest hugs to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you! Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
yes! Amen! I have always been told that we must choose joy…problem is as humans we automatically want to choose otherwise…but that’s when renewing of our minds must take place. So hard to do but when we do make the choice to choose joy, our circumstances seem less of a burden. Thanks for this post. xo
This is a lovely post, thankyou. It reminds me of the advice if you are feeling down, to force yourself to smile, and the act of smiling will bring you happiness. I wish you all the best in your next IVF cycle 🙂
I love how you said that sometimes it’s simply just easier to stress. Joy is a constant choice. A hard choice. And it can be a battle. Thank you for sharing your heart. My heart aches for you and all that you are going through. I had a very brief encounter with infertility (mostly just months of doctors appointments and tests to see if I was infertile….and then several negative pregnancy tests) and I know that it is nothing compared to what many go through. It was a profoundly difficult part of my life though and now my heart breaks for those who experience infertility or loss. You are in my prayers!!!
I tend to let the worries overtake me and not focus as much on the joys. It’s something I’ve been working on.
I love that song too and still sing it with the kids at church. Hang on to joy…God is in control and trusting him isn’t easy but necessary. I am praying for you as you receive your new injection. Your courage is a blessing to others. Stopping by from Recommendation Saturday.
Thanks for the encouragement, Cathy!
What a strong, yet poignant post! Admitting that stress is sometimes easier than joy sounds strange to many, but I understand it. Not for the same reason, but I get it. For most, admitting same would sound a little bit like a weakness but in admission is strength. And if you have strength you will make it through this journey of infertility and searching for joy with God’s help. I’m praying for you and other mothers-to-be that new life will spring forth through and in you.
BTW, we’re neighbors at Still Saturday this weekend.
Sherrey, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate your prayers and your kind words.
A reminder that I needed to hear, as I am finding that it is very easy to let my thoughts go to places that aren’t honoring to God.
I was talking to an older lady at church this morning who experienced three miscarriages, and she encouraged me to trust in the Lord’s sovereignty. We may never know why these things happen, but we can rest knowing that He has a purpose and He will bring about all things for our good. The pain is still very real, but we serve a wonderful God who cares deeply for us.
I pray that your soul would be calmed during this trying season, and that God will gift you the little one you desire.
Janelle, I’m glad the post encouraged you, and I really appreciate your kind words.
We must fight for joy, and joy is absolutely worth the fight. Blessings!
This post was such an encouragement to me though I am not facing infertility.Whatever it is that we have on our plate for that day or season, joy isn’t something that comes easily some times. It isn’t something we can work up on our own strength either but something that God gives us through the Holy Spirit. I really hope that you get pregnant soon. That would be a real blessing for you.
Thank you, Judith. I’m so glad it encouraged you!
Amen! Thank you for this great reminder!