Note: I know that some people don’t like the term “infertiles.” I’ve gone back and forth about it myself. But I’ve decided that for me it’s just a descriptor, an adjective. Also, I use it for brevity’s sake. It’s just easier to say “infertiles” instead of “people suffering from infertility.” By no means do I mean to offend anyone by using this term. For an excellent article on the debate, check out Creating a Family’s recent post.
Yesterday I was thinking about how certain things in society would be different if society had more infertility awareness and if infertiles were in charge. Here’s a list of 10 things I came up with.
If infertiles ruled the world…
… infertility insurance coverage would be the norm, not the exception
… treatment choice would not be based on how much money you have
… people who were lucky enough to have children would never take them for granted
… women would be educated early on about fertility signals and symptoms
… men could talk freely about male factor infertility without fear of stigma
… no woman would be told that endometriosis pain is all in her head
… society would not try to hide our grief or trivialize our pain
… adoption would be affordable
… churches would walk alongside couples as they wrestle with ethical decisions
… anyone who told you to just relax would be required to pay for your next vacation
Is there anything you’d add to my list? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
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This is a good list, Lisa. While we probably won’t rule the world, I believe that we are making a difference in some of those areas. As we share our stories, the people around us are reminded not to take their children for granted. As we are open about our struggles, our churches have the opportunity to get involved. It’s difficult to meet a need that has not been shared.
I am totally on board with the last item on your list. Let’s make it happen. Cancun, here we come!
Excellent points about how sharing our stories means more opportunity for change!
Ha! I think I like the last one the very best! (I’d like to go to Alaska or Hawaii… if anyone’s taking notes… 😉 )
Nice! I’m thinking it’s Paris for me!
This is a great list Lisa! #1 is so true!!
Thanks, Caroline!
Love it!
Thanks, Amber!
First of all thanks for finding me today at the Homemaking party! Now wow I love your blog. Also thank you for writing so honest & open about your journey. I too was trying so long (10 years) to have another child. I had kids from when I was very young. But wanted more. The heart aches just as much when you try for a decade and can’t have one. Well I take that back we did! Last spring I did and lost the baby ( i know I will hold him someday for now he is with Jesus). But I now have something wrong that will prevent me from having any more AND I am almost 40 also so…… SO I feel the ache of I want more kids ( I am still young and my other kids are about grown at age 19 in college and 15 in high school) I have more mom heart left in me to give. SO we prayed and I hope we will get approved to be Foster Respite care parents!! I wish you well on your journey!!
I look forward to reading at your blog MORE & more!
Susie, I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles to have more children and the loss of your last baby. I wish you nothing but the best as your pursue Foster Respite care. Many blessings and hugs.
Love this list! So great!
Thanks, Jennifer
“Just relax!” (Seriously? It’s a part time to full time job!)
“It’ll happen when you’re not trying!” (Immaculate conception? Sign me up!)
Clearly your last one made me smile the most 🙂
Glad it made you smile, Kimmie!
I agree with everything on your list! I have PCOS and my partner has low sperm count, motility and morphology issues. It took me four years, but I now have my miracle baby. Even the RE was surprised that we got pregnant.
I don’t think anyone can truly understand what its like to be infertile unless they’ve experienced it. I write about it a bit on my blog as well.
And OMG if I heard “just relax” one more time I would’ve exploded!
Poignant & painfully honest. I totally agree! Thanks for making yourself vulnerable to share this. Blessings!
Thanks, Renee!
My favorite is “At least you know what sleeping through the night feels like.”
I always say. well some of us would love to be woken up in the middle of the night.
I was never able to have kids. I only have what dr.’s call unexplained infertility. It isn’t easy and people definitely say weird things but now at this point in my life 10 years since my first miscarriage, I just shake my head and laugh. If you can’t laugh, then you cry??? lol
Good article!
Thanks, Dee. I’m so sorry you’re going through infertility, too. I like your attitude about laughing 🙂
I love it when I get “When you stop trying you will get pregnant just wait and see!!”
Oh really??? So i’ve really gone threw 3 rounds of IUIs, 3 rounds of IVF, and 3 FET all for nothing? all I need to do is stop trying? How ridiculous is that, especially when it comes from my general practitioner!!!