Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week I’m interviewing Greg from A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy. I’m so pleased to be interviewing another man who is shedding light on male infertility. There are no pictures today, but I know you’ll enjoy his interview!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a 34 year old happily married man who lives with my wife and our Greyhound Lila. We have been married for seven years and reside in New Jersey.
Q. What kind of fertility obstacles are you facing?
In January 2013, I was diagnosed with Non-Obstructive Azoospermia. The cause of my Azoospermia is a Y Chromosome Microdeletion. There are no known cures for the condition.
Q. How did you initially react when you found out about your male factor infertility?
I had suspected that I might have been the cause of our infertility after 18 months of trying without even one positive pregnancy test. What I wasn’t prepared for was the diagnosis that there was no known cure for my condition. It was a state of shock and sadness when I received word of the initial diagnosis and prognosis. This sent me into a state of deep depression that I am still working through today and likely will be the rest of my life.
Q. Do you and your wife cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
My wife and I have coped with our infertility very differently. I have been more outwardly emotional about it, while she has been more private about it. Usually when you think of couples processing infertility, it’s the opposite where the women is outwardly emotion and the man is more private. We are unusual in that regard.
Q. The overwhelming majority of infertility blogs are written by women. What made you decide to blog about your experience?
Initially I started to blog as a therapeutic way of helping process my grief. I felt it would help to write down my thoughts in addition to the therapy I was receiving at the time. It has since become a way for me to connect with others going through infertility as well as promote awareness of infertility specifically male factor infertility.
Q. What kind of responses to your blog do you receive?
The responses I’ve received to my blog have been nothing but positive. Everyone has been super supportive as well as provided me with great feedback that has made me think about the topics even further. I can’t begin to express the gratitude I have for those in the infertility community that have provided support through my blog and social media, there are no words that can describe how much I appreciate them.
Q. Are you as open about your infertility offline as you are online?
Yes, I have been very open in my infertility in my personal life. I feel it’s important that society recognizes that infertility is not just a female problem and that there are some types of infertility that cannot be cured. But I also recognize that not everyone is comfortable enough to be open about their infertility offline and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Q. What advice would you give to other men or other couples with male factor infertility?
My advice would be to these men and couples facing male factor infertility that you aren’t alone. Though there are others who maybe quiet about their male factor infertility there are many cases out there. Another piece of advice is what you are feeling and the impact it’s had on your life are normal. There is no right or wrong way to go about how you are processing your infertility. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help be it therapy or some other form of help. You are not less of a man if you seek help. It takes strength to recognize when you need help. Finally, I would advise these men/couples to allow yourselves to fully process your infertility and be patient (which is very difficult to do).
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
I’ve coped with my infertility in so many different ways. After my initial diagnosis, I spent seven months in individual therapy. Without that therapy, I don’t think I would have made it through last year. Blogging has been another way of coping with my infertility. Writing down thoughts and feelings helps me think more and recognize the underlying feeling. Physically, I dedicated myself to getting into shape. In 2013, as a result of the depression I was going through, I put on 15 pounds that had me at the heaviest weight I’d ever been. At the beginning of 2014, I began a diet and exercise routine that now has me at a weight I haven’t been at since my Freshman year in college. For the first time since then, I am in running shape and was able to run a 10K on the 4th of July. It’s something that I never thought I’d be able to do again physically, mentally or spiritually.
Q. Anything else you’d like to tell my readers?
I would like to tell anyone going through infertility or someone who is part of a couple going through infertility that it’s a life long game changer. Regardless of how your journey ends, even if you are lucky enough to become a parent it will be with you always. Coping with infertility is a process and if you rush to move forward before you are ready it may set you backwards in the long run. Allow yourself to process everything you are feeling.
Many thanks to Greg for sharing his story with us. Please thank him in the comments below, and consider pinning this image so other people can find his story. You can also tweet your appreciation to him @gsmwc02 or visit his blog. You can see all my previous interviews here.
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