Today’s post is a guest post from my Twitter friend, @MakeMeMommy. She’s been though one IVF cycle and shares some tips on how to balance work and IVF.
One challenge of getting fertility treatments is balancing it with work. It starts with having to put in fewer hours due to doctor’s visits. Then it’s onto ultrasound appointments, procedures like egg retrieval, and maybe some time off for the two-week-wait during which you’re PUPO. After four years of seeking treatment, I’ve learned how to better balance work (in this sense, office or desk-based work) with our fertility quest.
Be honest
Start by being honest with your boss and key colleagues about your situation and what treatment entails from a time-away-from-your-desk perspective. People can surprise you, and I personally received more support and understanding than I hoped for. Yes, even from colleagues that had no difficulty conceiving. If you prefer to reveal your situation under utmost confidentiality, feel free to stipulate this beforehand. The key is to be able to explain your recurrent absences or slip-outs in the correct context.
*** Looking for more tips on surviving IVF? Check out my post, 10 Practical Ways to Prepare for IVF ***
Be transparent
Be transparent about your treatment schedule, and give as much prior notice as possible. There was a time when I was so emotional (okay, a bit desperate too!) about treatment that my frame-of-mind was “They just have to understand; otherwise, I’ll resign” in a me-against-the-world theme. This proved unnecessary, as colleagues also proved willing to adjust and take on my work when I’m away.
I also think being transparent means being respectful of other people’s time and effort. It lets them know that you appreciate their kindness and you will not abuse it, but give it the utmost respect that befits it. Whenever it’s impossible to give advance notice (like when I did a natural cycle IVF, egg retrieval was very tricky to schedule because the RE and I had to check almost daily if the egg was ready), declare this anyway, so that your colleagues and superior know that they should be on-guard for ‘anytime this week’.
Make up for time-away-from-your-desk by:
- Trying to accomplish what needs to be done through mobile telecommuting like responding to emails on-the-go. We women are made to multitask. Use the commute to the RE’s office productively; this way, your colleagues or customers won’t feel your absence too much.
- Checking up regularly on colleagues who cover for your shift or do a work task in your absence. While you may not be able to directly help out, knowing that their effort is appreciated can go a long way.
- Offering to offset your absences by working on rest days, like the weekend. This may be a big inconvenience in the meantime, but think of the inconvenience your weekday absences cause other people, too.
If possible during treatment, try to get reassigned to a role that would need less office time. Having your work output not be a direct consequence of your time at the office will make balancing a bit easier. I’ve done this myself and while it meant putting career advancement on pause, it also meant my work and IVF could coexist in my life harmoniously. This was a tradeoff I willingly accepted.
Adjust your perspective
Work is not the enemy. I know that some people think work is a counter-indication when TTC. I know a lot of people have gotten on my case about being too pressured at work or too busy or too tired to be giving TTC a decent shot. There’s a part of me that never really believed it. In fact, I see work as a welcome distraction when seeking treatment. Other TTC would be all I thought about and that would probably be worse for my mental health than making reports and submitting requirements to my boss.
Being productive also gives me a sense of control over my life when fertility treatments tend to take that away. This is why I’ve sought to strike a peaceful balance between work and IVF, not just because of financial practicalities (which also apply and are perfectly valid to be a reason to continue working through IVF), but also because it’s the setup that can make me feel more ready to face the topsy-turvy world of IVF.
What tips do you have for balancing work and IVF (or other infertility treatments)? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
Filipino-born and of Chinese descent, makemommy is a 31-year-old happily married marketing professional wishing to be promoted to the best honor of all. Beset with autoimmune challenges, high TSH and MFI, this cervicitis survivor has one natural ivf cycle under her belt, followed by a minimal stimulation IVF round resulting in 2 frosties. Currently awaiting to fully hurdle autoimmune issues before resuming FET. Cautiously hopeful and always grateful.
Photo courtesy of Unsplash. Creative Commons Zero License
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