In recent months I’ve been privileged to get to know therapist and infertility survivor, Justine Brooks Froelker (check out my interview with her if you missed it). I’m consistently moved by her poignant blog posts, so I was thrilled to receive an advance copy of her new book, Ever Upward: Overcoming the Lifelong Losses of Infertility to Own a Childfree Life.
Justine shares how her battle with infertility began when she suffered an injury to her back as a child and was forced to spend a year in a full-body cast not once, but twice. She knew from a very young age that pregnancy was not an option for her. She and her husband later pursued gestational surrogacy twice only to have it fail each time.
Justine is very clear that her book is not prescriptive; it’s not a “how-to” for readers. Rather, it’s descriptive in that she outlines what worked for her without insisting that it will work everyone else, too. She writes openly and honestly about her journey to embracing a childfree life and the obstacles she overcame.
I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled “Owning Adoption.” Contrary to what the title suggests, Justine and her husband, Chad, did not pursue adoption. She describes how they came to the decision not to adopt and how they respond to the inevitable questions and criticism that arise. I think this chapter may be the most important chapter of the whole book because it validates and gives a voice to couples who may ashamed to admit that adoption is not going to be a part of their story. Couples whose experiences are so often lost in the flood of beautiful adoption stories we so often read. She writes:
“I will speak my truth, the truth of saying enough is enough and that no, I will not adopt. I will speak my truth because if I do shame cannot exist. And without the shame of this journey, I am more and more able to embrace it all and own it.”
There are light-hearted moments in the book, too. I enjoyed reading about how Justine and her husband bought their dream home from a woman who struggled with hoarding. The descriptions of the items they found in the house were amusing and gave her further insight into Justine’s sense of humor.
Overall, I was just really touched by going so deeply into another woman’s journey. I read the first four chapters right before going to bed, and I actually had dreams about getting coffee with Justine! Her story is that relatable and that touching!
Ever Upward is available on Justine’s website starting October 1st. You can also get it on Amazon starting in March. But Justine has been kind enough to give me a SIGNED, extra copy to give away to one lucky reader. You can enter the giveaway by using the Rafflecopter widget below. (If you are reading this post on a mobile device or via an RSS reader, you may need to click through to the full version of this site).
This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you make a purchase after clicking on one of my links I receive a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Thanks for supporting this site.
Connect with me on {Facebook} | {Pinterest} | {Twitter}| {Instagram}