I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 22. I was suffering with the pain and many other symptoms that go along with this disease.
I was married when I was thirty years old. I knew infertility was a very real possibility, but I felt that God was going to perform a miracle for me. I had no idea that infertility was going to become a way of life.
Soon after I was married, my endometriosis became much worse. My life was being consumed with pain, surgery and medication. On top of this came the hard road of infertility.
This has been one of the hardest roads I have ever been down. It was filled with pain and heartache, but it has been a road that God has used to shape and mold me. Had the choice been up to me, I know I wouldn’t have chosen this path; but looking back, I can say that I am thankful for this path. This path has changed me for the better. I have learned so many lessons through this journey of infertility.
Today I am going to share with you a few of the many lessons I have learned along this road.
When I felt like I have been given more than I could handle, God helped me through.
So many times I have been overwhelmed with doctor’s appointments, surgeries and the decisions that come with infertility. There are many days that I feel discouraged and cry many tears, but God has helped me through when I feel like I have too much to bear. He walks beside me and guides each step. He has never left me alone, but has comforted me through the valleys. I Corinthians 10:13 says,
“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
There is always someone who is carrying a heavier burden than me.
Often when going through deep trials, it is very easy to become wrapped up in yourself. I would begin to think that what I was going through was the most devastating trial there is. I often don’t think of others who are going through deeper trials and facing harder battles than I am. To counter balance this reaction in my life, I try to familiarize myself with others who are going through greater battles than me. I have followed blogs of women who are struggling with terminal disease or have lost a spouse. When reading of these women, I realize that my trial is so small in comparison. Philippians 2:4 says,
“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
It is easy to look at those who have children and become very jealous. I could begin to feel that they have everything that I wanted. Sometimes, I tend to overlook the hard times of parenting – the mother burying a son or the parents broken hearted over a wayward child. I often think that motherhood is filled with joy and happiness, but I can forget about the pain and heartache that comes with it. Just as my life contains heartache, so does a parent’s life. I need to realize that the other side of the fence has its struggles as well.
Others may be going through battles I know nothing about.
At the beginning of our infertility, I kept our struggles private. I could not bear to tell anyone the pain I was experiencing. No one knew what I was going through. It brought me to the realization that I often don’t know how other people are struggling. Like me, many people keep some struggles private. I need to be compassionate towards others and reach out to everyone. Everybody is facing a trial of one kind or another. I may or may not know about them.
Although this road has been rough and long at times, I can honestly say that God has been good to me. He has taken care of me and never left me alone. He has provided me with so many blessings through this journey.
Maybe you are going through the struggle of infertility today. Don’t give up and give in to discouragement. Try to look for some of the positive things you can learn. It will completely change your outlook on your trial. If you stay sensitive to the Lord’s working in your life, one day you will be able to be thankful for the lessons you have learned while on the road of infertility.
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