Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. – Colossians 3:14 (NLT)
A recent study says that couples who are unable to conceive after years of trying are three times as more likely to divorce as couples who eventually have a child.
Another study says that women who are undergoing infertility treatments have a higher risk for sexual dysfunction.
And no one who has actually been through infertility would need a study to tell them about the tremendous psychological toll it takes, but there are several which concluded just that.
Higher divorce rates, sexual dysfunction, and psychological trauma– You’re naive if you think infertility won’t change your marriage.
But it doesn’t have to destroy it.
I’ve interviewed dozens of people who’ve experienced infertility, and one thing they’ve said over and over again is that infertility, as difficult as it’s been, has brought them closer with their spouse.
Of course, this “silver lining” doesn’t happen accidentally or easily. It takes an intentional, deliberate choice to fight for your marriage FIRST. You must decide that your marriage is more important than your fertility, and that you’re willing to fight for it just as hard, or maybe even harder, than you fight for parenthood.
The first year of our infertility journey was the hardest on my marriage. I dealt with the bad news and frustration much differently than my husband did. It upset him that I cried so much, and it upset me that he never cried.
We both began to see how infertility could tear a marriage apart. We saw therapists separately and together. We made a decision that we wanted to be married to each other more than we wanted children. We each made sacrifices and compromises. We prayed for our marriage. We forgave each other a lot.
I realize that some of you may be in marriages where one partner refuses to talk about it or see a therapist. Or perhaps you can’t afford it. But no matter your circumstances, you can pray.
As you pray today, ask God to use your circumstances to bring you closer to your spouse. Also, pray for those couples whose marriage is being torn apart and ask God to bring about healing in their relationship.
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Click here to purchase the 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility eBook. You’ll receive all 31 day’s worth of devotionals in an easy-to-print PDF file. You’ll also receive 31 printable prayer journal pages, each with journaling prompts and more Scripture for further study. The eBook also includes content that isn’t available on the blog- like booklists, playlists, Scripture memorization cards, and computer wallpaper downloads.
