Each week I interview someone who has experienced firsthand. This week I’m privileged to bring you Janelle’s story. She shares about her struggle with secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages. Janelle also wrote a recent guest post for me, so make sure you check that out, too!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Janelle, and I’m a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m a wife, a mom, and have a background in education.
Q. How long have you been TTC and what issues are you facing?
We don’t have an official diagnosis. Given my background with surrogacy (my own parents weren’t able to conceive biological children), my husband and I have decided that we do not want to seek conventional fertility treatments (so for us, most testing is money we don’t want to spend). But here’s what we do know: it has been suspected that I may have PCOS, but all my labs are within the “normal” range. I also have slow thyroid and issues with insulin resistance. We have been trying to conceive baby number two for nearly two years.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
I have found comfort in reading blogs like this one, as well as some Christian music. I’m usually not a big David Crowder fan, but his song “I Am” helped hold me together after my recent miscarriage.
I’ve had Romans 8:28 posted on my living room wall for the past two and a half years, and lately it has been good to continually be reminded that God will work all things out for my spiritual good.
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
While we share the same convictions, we definitely handle the struggle differently. My husband has found great comfort in the sovereignty of God, and while I don’t deny God’s absolute control over my life, miscarriage and secondary infertility have been harder for me to deal with. Regularly surrounding myself with worshipful songs and the Word of God have helped me to retain my focus on God, and to remember that He is good and that there is a reason behind the trials of life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have hard days anymore, because I certainly do.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself during your struggles?
This past year I have revamped my diet to try and increase my fertility. I no longer eat grains, and I strictly limit my sugar intake. As a result I’ve lost over 30 pounds since February! Even though I haven’t been able to carry another baby to term yet, it sure is nice to feel good in my own skin again.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
I feel like I’m still trying to survive my lowest point, which was my miscarriage this last May. At that point we had been trying to get pregnant for 14 months… only to lose the baby. At twelve weeks gestation my midwife was unable to find a heartbeat with the doppler, so we ordered an ultrasound. It was only by the grace of God that I made it out to the car before bursting into tears after learning that my baby had died at seven weeks.
Q. What advice would you give to women who have experienced multiple miscarriages and/or secondary infertility?
It’s okay to be hurting. It’s okay to morn and grieve the loss of your baby. And while I would agree with much of the advice I have been given – that God has a purpose in all of this – at the same time this isn’t something you just “get over.”
Find someone who has walked this incredibly tough road before you. While truth isn’t based on experiences, sometimes it’s easier to hear encouragement (and even admonition) from someone who can empathize with you.
With that said, it helps me to find things to be thankful for. God has always been faithful.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
It hasn’t been easy to find. I know God is teaching me lessons about contentment and finding my identity in Him and only Him – not the number of kids I have. I know that He wants to give me more of Himself through this difficult season.
Many thanks to Janelle for sharing her infertility story with us. Please leave her a comment to let her know you appreciate her and consider pinning this image so others can find her story.
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I can relate to Janelle. I, too am dealing with secondary infertility. It’s been a struggle. My husband and I have decided to take a break because it was getting to be too stressful. Keep up the good work in spreading the word.
Thank you for the encouragement, Kim. At the advice of my husband, that’s where we’ve landed too (not “trying” but also not preventing).