Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. Today I’m interviewing Carrie. She’s very active on Twitter (@Pregnant_Pause) and shares some great insight about her infertility and PCOS. I also appreciated that she agreed to do this interview at the last minute! Enjoy!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Carrie. I live in Florida with my husband, 2 miniature dachshunds, and 2 almost brand-new twins (3 weeks old). 🙂
Q. Â How long did you TTC and what issues were you facing?
My husband and I married in 2008 and we started trying about 6 months later. My cycles had always been regular but after a while of trying and nothing happening, I had a span of about 5 months of irregularity which sent me to my gynecologist who referred me to an RE with a suspected diagnosis of PCOS. I am fortunate that my gynecologist had infertility issues herself so would not treat patients and only refer due to the emotionally difficult nature of infertility. I had no idea what was to lie ahead of us, but our official diagnosis was PCOS and male factor (slight motility and morphology issues). In addition, last year, I was diagnosed with a MTHFR translocation as well.
All told, we spent 4 years in treatment with 2 different RE practices (over 5 years TTC). We began with timed intercourse with Femara, IUI with Femara (2), IUI with injectables (3), 3 IVF’s, and 8 FET’s.
Q. Â What’s the best piece of advice you’d give to someone going through infertility treatments?
Take care of yourself. It’s so easy to only focus on treatments or the next cycle and pull away from your life. I found myself never making or accepting any future plans with friends and family because I never knew when our next IUI or IVF would fall. After a couple of years of that, I made a conscious decision to stop allowing infertility and the treatments to completely run my life. As a result, I was able to better engage with my life and it helped my stress levels as well. (It also led to some good stories about where I’ve taken my shots!)
Q. Â How did you take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally during infertility?
My first RE insisted on a very low carb diet for PCOS patients. I followed that (with breaks in between…4 years is a long time without bread!), I worked out when I wasn’t cycling, meditated, and later on for my last FET did acupuncture.
I also saw a counselor who specializes in infertility and my husband and I had couples counseling (Infertility is no joke and takes a lot of extra focus to keep your marriage running smoothly! There is no shame in therapy, either as an individual or a couple!). I also participated with my local RESOLVE peer group and a second support group offered through my RE’s office.
Q. Â What was your lowest point and how did you survive it?
Last year, we finally got pregnant after feeling there was honestly no hope of ever seeing a BFP. It was after our 3rd IVF (which had the worst outcome). At 10 weeks, we learned the pregnancy was no longer viable and the baby had died. We were devastated and I have never been so angry and hurt in my life. To finally feel that close to having our dream after so many years only to lose it 10 weeks in seemed the worst kind of cosmic joke. I know many of your readers know how loss feels and can relate.
I think the only way I made it through was from the support of some amazing friends and my husband; along with time and prayer (I had a lot of anger to work through).
You really learn who is there for you when you experience such a crisis.
Q. Â You just gave birth to twins! How did infertility affect your view of pregnancy, childbirth, and now parenting?
Gratitude! I think this is my first focus during pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Even though every step was fraught with fear and trepidation, I tried to remain focused on what I have rather than what I could lose.
I think infertility has helped me remain mindful of the “now.” I find myself as a new mom looking forward to their future milestones and remind myself that these are the last firsts I will ever have as a mother (these were our last 2 embryos) so I want to remain present in the moment as much as possible.
Q. Â Were you able to find the silver lining in infertility?
I think so. I was able to make some amazing friendships that I would have never had if my road had been easier.
I have also had the opportunity to advocate for other couples and families to try and make positive changes in health care law to better support our challenges. As a result of my advocacy and openness about our journey, I have been able to be a strong support for others as well. I look forward to continuing to support others and trying to help make the road a little easier for those who have to experience infertility.
Q. Â Anything else you’d like to share?
Be kind to yourself and each other. This is a difficult trial to undertake alone so find some support wherever you can. Everyone’s journey is different but it’s hard no matter what.
Many thanks to Carrie for sharing her story with us. Â Please leave a comment below to let her know you appreciate her, and consider pinning this image so other people can find her infertility story. Â You can see all my previous interviews here.
Connect with me on {Facebook} | {Pinterest} | {Twitter}| {Instagram}