Recently a good friend posted a photo of her newborn on social media. I was really struggling with my infertility that day, and seeing the post sent me into a downward spiral. I resolved not to post photos like that if I’m lucky enough to have a child one day.
But after the hard feelings dissipated a bit, I realized I’d never keep that promise. I’ve already posted photos of all six of the embryos we’ve transferred over the course of our treatments. Had any of them resulted in births, I’d be guilty of sharing my child’s life on the internet from conception!
Also, my husband’s family lives locally, but the majority of my extended family lives on the other side of the country. Sharing photos, videos, and anecdotes of my future children will be one of the only ways my family will be able to feel like they are involved on a regular basis.
So, I began to think about alternative ways of sharing about my future child on social media. I want to do it in a way that respects any friends I may have who are also dealing with infertility or loss, and in a way that protects the privacy of my child.
Please note that I’m not judging you if you post pictures of your child on social media. I’m just not entirely comfortable with it for myself, and I wanted to explore some other ideas.
Here are two ideas I came up with:
Create a closed group on Facebook
Pros
- You can add only the people you approve. For example, I can let my family members join the group, but not the slightly creepy guy I haven’t seen since high school.
- Most people are already on Facebook so you don’t have to ask them to create a new account on another platform
Cons
- Facebook has a history of making confusing changes to their privacy settings. Any time you upload photos to a service you don’t own or control, you run the risk of your stuff being shared without your permission or knowledge.
Create a separate, password-protected blog
Pros
- A blog generally allows you to have more control over what happens to your information.
- There are several blog templates and themes that allow you to create gorgeous layouts and photo albums. You could really create a beautiful, digital keepsake.
Cons
- You need to make sure you can trust the people to whom you give the password not to share it with others
- People have to remember the password, and you’ll have to notify everyone if you never have to change it.
- Free blog services may have fewer security features.
- Paid blog services require you to pay a fee. You risk losing all your data if you ever miss the bill or can’t afford it.
Have you given any thought to this? What are some alternative ideas you’ve thought about or seen others use? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
*image courtesy of Luke Chesser / UnSplash
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