The holidays are tough for me this year.
We’re in the middle of a waiting season. It’s been five months since our last IVF cycle, and we have three more to go. The wait feels so long.
I was pregnant briefly in March after our first IVF. Had that pregnancy stuck, I’d be delivering a holiday baby right about now. We should be buying “Baby’s First Christmas” ornaments, but I’m not even sure if I’m going to put up a tree. The loss feels heavier because it’s Christmas.
I cried at church on Sunday when a new acquaintance’s two young (adopted) children ran gleefully to him after coming out of Sunday School. I wasn’t sure if I was crying because they reminded me of what I don’t have or because it’s such an amazing adoption story (probably both). Whatever the reason, the ache is deep and seems to only get deeper as time passes.
If you’re like me and struggling this Christmas, I hope we can find comfort together in the reminder that we’re not meant to bear those burdens. That’s Christ’s job. Psalm 68:19 tells us he will bear our burdens daily. But he doesn’t just take our burdens and leave us alone. I love how some of the other translations illustrate that he also carries us and delivers us through:
Praise the Lord; praise God our savior!
For each day he carries us in his arms. (NLT)
Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up;
God is our salvation. (ESV)
What burdens are you struggling to bear? Are you able to let God carry them for you? Please share your thoughts in the comments or in the link-up below.
Linking up with a post I wrote last year, reflecting on infertility in the Advent season. I spent 7 Christmas seasons bearing the weight of infertility, and it was always the most difficult time of year for me. But last year, I discovered that I could find a place for my grief in Advent, that it is a season designed to hold our aches and longing. I wish I had discovered this sooner.
Great post, Rebecca. Thanks for linking it up.
The holidays are always so hard. I always enjoy the fact that Christmas and the celebration of Advent is about celebrating a promise fulfilled from a God who seemed to have forgotten. I won’t extrapolate that to my own circumstances, because I don’t think the Lord has promised me a baby, but I will say that I take comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in wondering why God is silent. The Israelites also felt lost and forgotten and were holding onto hope by a thread… there’s a sense of camaraderie in the hoping.
Thinking of you and hoping that you can find some joy and hope in this season.
Thanks for hosting the linkup. What a great reminder that we should cast our burdens upon Him.
Hugs. I should be quickly approaching my due date too (miscarried last May). May God give you grace and strength this Christmas season.
Hugs to you, too, Janelle.
Thanks for the sweet verses of encouragement friend! Thinking of you and all of us while we are waiting, especially during this season
Thank you, Caroline. Thinking of you, too.
Hugs to you. It’s can be such a difficult time of the year. Thinking of you!
Thanks, Reb!
I’m sorry to hear this. I know it is hard. We are trying to get pregnant too. If it doesn’t happen this month, we’ll go back to the doctor again to see what the next step is. I pray that you have peace in your heart… waiting can be so difficult when you want something so much. God bless.
Thank you, Kristi. Best wishes to you!
To you as well!
Hi. I’m here for ICLW and I just want to say you’re in my thoughts and prayers. I know the holidays are especially difficult when you are waiting for a baby. I used to feel God had forgotten about me. I lost my faith during my IF years. But thankfully, I’m able to look back with gratitude for the life lessons I learned along the way. Take care. Jackie http://www.courageinme.blogspot.com