Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week, I’m interviewing Jenay. I’m so grateful she’s willing to share her infertility and miscarriage story with us, and I hope you enjoy what she has to say.
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I am 25 years old. I was born in Florida and grew up in Maine. I currently reside in Charlotte, NC. I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 22, and within a year and half we were married! Just recently, I made the decision to become a full-time homemaker. Prior to homemaking full-time I was a bartender and a preschool teacher. My husband, Justin is a high school history teacher and soccer coach. I am an aunt to a adorable little boy named Elijah and a dog-mom to a Belgian Malinois / Pit bull mix. I love Pinterest, wine, horror movies and Indian food.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
We decided to start TTC in August 2013. I became pregnant the first month I was off birth control! We were over the moon, shocked it happened so quickly, and relieved we wouldn’t have to deal with the ups and downs of long-term efforts to conceive. At 8 weeks I miscarried, and ever since then my cycle has been nonexistent. I have always had irregular / nonexistent cycles, but they were regulated by birth control. We started to try after my miscarriage almost immediately, and are still trying. I almost never ovulate. I have been tracking my cycles using the FAM method outlined in Taking Charge of Your Fertility and in the past 15 months I have only ovulated about 3 times. I also have an extremely low basal temperature that usually measures around 96.2 F. I am scheduled to see an RE in January. I hope that I can get some answers and maybe get my body working like it should. In total it has been about 16 months of conception efforts, but has felt like an eternity.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, and songs have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
I keep my Bible close (the Word of God is always a comfort to me). I have delved deeply into several Bible studies that deal with infertility and infant loss. I have read a few books that deal directly with fertility issues, and I stalk many online forums. It’s nice to know other women are dealing with similar issues and that I am not alone. I know in my heart that God would not place such a strong desire to be a momma in my heart if it was not in His plan for me. It is incredibly hard, but I try and stay as positive as possible.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually during your struggles?
After experiencing the loss of our baby at 8 weeks I felt disconnected from my body, almost like it betrayed me. It is a bizarre feeling that I sometimes still deal with. Month after month when AF doesn’t come, and I don’t ovulate I feel anger towards my body (and in turn myself) like I am doing something wrong. I have tried a TON of holistic remedies (Vitex, Red Raspberry Leaf, Maca root etc..) and none have done me any good. I have laid off the supplements for my own sanity. At this point I am just praying that once I see an RE I will have answers that will better help me cope and understand my body.
I started blogging here and there as a way to distract myself. I started a TTC journal that I write in when I need to rant or scribble down feelings.
I also do the obvious like “unfollowing” people once they announce their pregnancies to avoid seeing “bump updates” or ultrasound pictures. It sounds rude, but it keeps me sane. I also have declined a few baby shower invites because I know they will be too hard for me.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
My miscarriage was my lowest point. It was an experience I will never forget, and it was very traumatic. I felt completely out of control, like my body had betrayed me. I was in a very dark place the months after my loss. I was bitter, angry and cried myself to sleep almost every night for weeks. I was only able to overcome and move on because of the amazing support system I have at home. My husband was amazing through the whole process. He was there for me every step of the way. He put up with my epic meltdowns and deep depression in a way that amazed me daily. He was patient, kind and always willing to listen (even when I was being bitter and irrational).
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
I guess my silver lining from this would be now knowing what I am capable of emotionally and mentally. I am a lot stronger than I ever thought. Also, my husband and I have grown substantially and our marriage has been made stronger.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
We decided to start TTC in August 2013. I became pregnant the first month I was off birth control! We were over the moon, shocked it happened so quickly, and relieved we wouldn’t have to deal with the ups and downs of long-term efforts to conceive. At 8 weeks I miscarried, and ever since then my cycle has been nonexistent. I have always had irregular / nonexistent cycles, but they were regulated by birth control. We started to try after my miscarriage almost immediately, and are still trying. I almost never ovulate. I have been tracking my cycles using the FAM method outlined in Taking Charge of Your Fertility and in the past 15 months I have only ovulated about 3 times. I also have an extremely low basal temperature that usually measures around 96.2 F. I am scheduled to see an RE in January. I hope that I can get some answers and maybe get my body working like it should. In total it has been about 16 months of conception efforts, but has felt like an eternity.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, and songs have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
I keep my Bible close (the Word of God is always a comfort to me). I have delved deeply into several Bible studies that deal with infertility and infant loss. I have read a few books that deal directly with fertility issues, and I stalk many online forums. It’s nice to know other women are dealing with similar issues and that I am not alone. I know in my heart that God would not place such a strong desire to be a momma in my heart if it was not in His plan for me. It is incredibly hard, but I try and stay as positive as possible.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually during your struggles?
After experiencing the loss of our baby at 8 weeks I felt disconnected from my body, almost like it betrayed me. It is a bizarre feeling that I sometimes still deal with. Month after month when AF doesn’t come, and I don’t ovulate I feel anger towards my body (and in turn myself) like I am doing something wrong. I have tried a TON of holistic remedies (Vitex, Red Raspberry Leaf, Maca root etc..) and none have done me any good. I have laid off the supplements for my own sanity. At this point I am just praying that once I see an RE I will have answers that will better help me cope and understand my body.
I started blogging here and there as a way to distract myself. I started a TTC journal that I write in when I need to rant or scribble down feelings.
I also do the obvious like “unfollowing” people once they announce their pregnancies to avoid seeing “bump updates” or ultrasound pictures. It sounds rude, but it keeps me sane. I also have declined a few baby shower invites because I know they will be too hard for me.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
My miscarriage was my lowest point. It was an experience I will never forget, and it was very traumatic. I felt completely out of control, like my body had betrayed me. I was in a very dark place the months after my loss. I was bitter, angry and cried myself to sleep almost every night for weeks. I was only able to overcome and move on because of the amazing support system I have at home. My husband was amazing through the whole process. He was there for me every step of the way. He put up with my epic meltdowns and deep depression in a way that amazed me daily. He was patient, kind and always willing to listen (even when I was being bitter and irrational).
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
I guess my silver lining from this would be now knowing what I am capable of emotionally and mentally. I am a lot stronger than I ever thought. Also, my husband and I have grown substantially and our marriage has been made stronger.
Many thanks to Jenay for sharing her infertility and miscarriage story with us. Please leave her a comment below to let her know you appreciate her.
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