Last week I asked the following question in my newsletter and on my Facebook page: “Besides a BFP, what are your goals for the upcoming year in regards to your fertility?”
I received several responses and they all centered around one theme: being content during infertility no matter the outcome.
Can I be honest? This is really hard for me.
Like you, I’ve spent so much time and money, and shed so many tears that it’s hard not to see infertility as my thing. You know, THE thing that would make everything better if it turned out how we want it.
When I really stop and think about it, I know in my head that it’s a lie to believe I’d finally be content if only I could have a baby. When I really pause and reflect, I know that life will probably get harder if I have a baby. I have to actively work at avoiding the temptation to romanticize parenthood. Of course, I’d be ecstatic, but I know deep down that having a baby will not bring me that elusive, long-lasting contentedness.
As a Christian, I believe that only Christ can fill that void in my life. The hard part is figuring out how that becomes reality in my every day life. How do I become so aware of Him that it permeates my soul and my psyche and becomes my reality-check when I’m tempted to idolize pregnancy?
Here are three things I’m working on in order to do just that:
1. Immersing myself in Scripture. I’m not going to lie and say I read the Bible every day. Oh, it’s on my to-do list every day, but I struggle with actually getting it done. My goal this year is to be more consistent in my daily quiet time. I just finished the Bible study book I’ve been working through. Does anyone have any suggestions for my next devotional / study? I like workbooks.
2. Learning from others. One of the few downsides of running this blog is that it cuts into my reading time. I used to read a book or two a week, but lately I’ve been getting through only a book or two a month. My goal this year is to cut back on time-wastes like TV surfing and mindless Facebook-ing and spend more time learning from people who are a little further along in their journey of faith to contentedness despite circumstances. I’ve got several books on my list, but two I highly recommend are Ever Upward by Justine Froelker (I interviewed her a few months ago) and Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams Into New Beginnings by Sheridan Voysey (check out his podcasts on my Podcast Page).
3. Adjusting my perspective. This is perhaps the hardest one of all because it requires mental discipline that I don’t always feel I have. For me, it requires getting out of the house and out of my “mope mode” during treatments or after a failed treatment. A literal change of the view helps me tremendously.
What about you? What are you thoughts on being content no matter the circumstances? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
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