“Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” – Psalm 27:13
I think when I get to heaven I’ll finally be able to understand the reason and purpose behind my infertility. God’s plan will, at long last, be 100% clear.
But that doesn’t mean that I believe I’m going to suffer my whole earthly life, resigned to waiting until death to see God’s goodness. Not at all. Psalm 27:13 says we’ll see God’s goodness in the “land of the living.” Isn’t that a wonderful promise?
Even if I never get pregnant, even if I never am able to adopt a child, if no one ever calls me “Mom,” I will still be able to see God’s goodness in my life. Does that mean I won’t have moments, even seasons, of grief or questioning? No. I may feel sorrow when I look at pregnant women for the rest of my life. BUT feeling that sorrow and recognizing God’s goodness are not mutually exclusive. I can experience both.
The problem is that the sorrow comes more naturally. It erodes my ability to see God’s goodness. So I must look for that goodness. I must be intentional about changing my perspective. I must consciously seek to be aware of His love and his kindness, and I must not let sadness override His good.
How are you intentional about looking for God’s goodness in the middle of sadness? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
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