Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. Today I’m chatting with Emily from Queen of the Wilson Household. I saw her post, How Infertility Changed Me, on someone else’s link-up and I knew she’d be perfect for an interview. I’m so glad she agreed to share her story with you today.
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
About ten years ago I moved to Florida because I wanted to live somewhere warm after going to college in Wisconsin. Soon after moving to Florida, I met my husband. I was a teacher for nine years and loved it! Currently, I stay home with my son and tutor three days a week. In my free time, you will find me decorating my home, trying out a new hairdo, spending time with my family, enjoying the outdoors, or blogging.
Q. How long did you TTC and what issues were you facing?
Shortly after we were married, my husband and I found out that we would have difficulty conceiving because of a medical condition my husband has. We tried to conceive for a little over 5 years before we found out I was pregnant.
Q. How did you take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
The first three years of my journey I didn’t take care of myself. I was very unhappy and lonely, and I stopped making my health a priority. I even gained 20 pounds. Finally, after about three years there was a time in my life when I decided that I couldn’t keep living that way. It took time, but I eventually started taking charge of my life again.
Physically: I tried to stay active by walking and riding my bike. I also started getting back into my healthy habits by drinking less sodas and more water and eating more fruits and vegetables.
Emotionally: I started to change my perspective on life. I decided that I didn’t want to waste the present by wishing for something I didn’t have. I started being thankful for what I did have and who was in my life. If I couldn’t be a mom, I still wanted to be the best version of who I was: a wife, teacher, daughter, aunt, and friend. I read books, and really put forth great effort to be the best version of myself during that time.
Spiritually: I read the book So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. That book had the biggest spiritual impact on me. It caused me to face my biggest fear: not ever becoming a mom. I finally came to the point where I trusted that the Lord’s ways were perfect (Psalm 18:30) and that he had heard my prayer, but he would answer it in his timing (Luke 1:13-18).
Q. What was your lowest point and how did you survive it?
Oh my goodness! I feel like I had so many different low points. But I think the one that ultimately caused me to change for the better was one day when I was feeling especially depressed, I spoke very angrily to an extended family member at a family gathering. I realized that I spoke to him that way because I had become unhappy and angry with my life. That day was when I decided I had to change, and over the next several months I took steps to improve my life.
Q. Were you able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
Yes, after the first few years of depression, I finally started to see the good in my life and be thankful for all that I had been given. Infertility also caused me to trust that the Lord will work all things out for good for those who love Him. I think it also helped my husband and I have a closer relationship.
Q. What made you decide to share your story on your blog?
In the midst of my infertility, I didn’t know a single person who had struggled with TTC. It made me feel lonely, and I kept my feelings locked inside. I hope that by sharing my story someone was encouraged that they are not alone in their journey and that the feelings they have are normal to have. Sharing my story was good for me too because I was able to put into words my thoughts and feelings that had been buried for so long.
Q. Did your experience with infertility affect your pregnancy or how you view your child now?
Yes, I tried to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I could knowing that it may be my only pregnancy, although some days were easier than others. I have worked on cherishing the present with my son instead of always looking ahead to what is next. My husband and I often will say to each other that it doesn’t seem real that we are parents. We are so thankful for our son, and I often have tears of joy when I think about our precious gift.
Q. Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?
Infertility is difficult no matter what your age or how long you have been TTC. Please know that you are not alone. The best encouragement I could give are the lessons that I learned personally:
- Don’t let infertility steal your joy.
- Be the best YOU in this season.
- Trust the Lord’s plan.
- Be thankful for all that you do have.
- Don’t listen to discouragement.
- Don’t keep your emotions bottled inside.
- Find someone who listens.
Many thanks to Emily for sharing her infertility story with us today. Please leave her a comment below to let her know you appreciate her!
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Thanks for sharing your story Emily. Seven years on the infertility journey, so far, and I definitely relate to the idea to appreciate all that we can and not let infertility steal our joy. It’s a tough journey but I have a lot of things to be thankful for in this life. So glad you got your precious gift and that you appreciate every moment..
This is so excellent! Thank you for sharing your story, Emily. I am in the midst of trying to learn to find joy despite infertility, so your words really hit home for me. Congratulations on your beautiful boy!