Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week I’m chatting with Ally. Ally will be writing several guest posts on this blog over the next few months, and I know you’ll enjoy getting to know her!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I’m Ally, and he’s Trevor, and we live and work at a Bible Camp in Iowa. We love camping, the outdoors, and going on motorcycle rides. Trevor also enjoys dirt biking and doing a little fishing now and again, and I blog over at A Home Called Shalom.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
Our infertility journey is… well, it’s different. We stopped using any form of birth control about six months after we got married (so about two and a half years ago), when we realized that our faith was leading us to be open to life and to truly trust God completely– not only for our future plans, our calling, or finances, but also with our fertility.
I began charting my cycles (using the Sympto-Thermal method) as a way of learning more about my own body, and that’s when we learned something was wrong. It didn’t look like I was ovulating at all.
We went to the doctor, and sat through a few very disappointing appointments. We felt just plain yucky at the end of them. We knew that we didn’t want to go back on any kind of birth control (like the doctor recommended at first).
We felt pushed into making decisions, and like the doctor wasn’t giving us options or even taking my observations into account. Trevor and I had already decided what we were comfortable with as far as treatments go, and when we expressed that decision, the doctor brushed us off.
After that, I did some research and we decided to switch to the Creighton Model System of fertility charting. The Creighton Model System (or CrMS) is a very well-researched method, and it includes NaPro Technologies that are designed to get at the core issue that you’re facing and heal that first.
Our NaProTech doctor looked at my charts and symptoms, and did a lot of testing. It turns out that I have PCOS, a condition that causes issues with hormones and also can severely restrict ovulation.
One of the things that I value most about our experience with CrMS and NaPro has been that everything really goes at the pace we’re comfortable with. I wasn’t ready to try any kind of medications, and that was okay with the doctor. I never feel pressured or pushed, and I know that my practitioner always has my back.
CrMS is very couples-focused, which I also really enjoy. It’s not my fertility that we’re interested in, it’s our fertility. We make decisions together, and our practitioner encourages us to be intentional about connecting in our marriage during this tough time.
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
We handle things very differently. I’m a type-A person- I like control and numbers and plans and organization. He’s far more laid back. It’s made for some interesting conversations.
I used to get so upset with him. I’d get my hopes up for that positive pregnancy test, start thinking about due dates and names and what color will the nursery be… and he’d stay pretty stoic. I really thought that we weren’t on the same page- that he was telling me that he wanted a baby, but didn’t really mean it. Because if he meant it, then why wasn’t he hoping like I was?
It took me a while to understand that he’s protecting my heart. When those disappointments come, I’m so crushed by the weight of my own dreams collapsing… but he’s there, strong for me. He deals with things differently, and that’s okay.
My husband has really been a rock throughout this journey. He reminds me continually of God’s goodness to us, to count the blessings, and to know that He works all things for our good.
Q. What made you decide to share a bit of your infertility story on your blog?
I shared a few posts about our struggle on my blog (here and here, in particular)- firstly because I was so surprised by our infertility. I felt… cheated. No one had ever really told me that this could happen.
I want people to know that it could happen, and if it does, that you can and will be okay.
I write a lot about faith, and I needed to express where I’m coming from. Infertility can be such a quiet struggle, such a silent cross to bear- that when I write about God’s goodness, I felt like my readers didn’t know how strongly I was fighting to see that goodness. I want them to know that life can be so hard, and so painful, but He is still so good to us.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
I think so. I can see how infertility has made me stronger. It’s brought me closer to God, to my husband, and even to myself.
I guess, we have a choice, really. We can either let this thing break us down, or we can use it to build ourselves up. We can either become bitter and angry, or we can fight hard to find joy. I’m trying hard to choose the joy.
Many thanks to Ally for sharing her infertility story. Please leave her a comment below to let her know you appreciate her, and take some time to check out her blog.
3rd photo courtesy of Billy Onjea via UnSplash. This post is linked up with several blog hops. You can see all the hops I participate in on My Link Up Page.
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