Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week, I’m excited to interview Heather Huhman. Heather is the host of Beat Infertility, a great new podcast that shares stories of women who have beat infertility. You can connect with Heather on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Enjoy her interview!
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I am currently 31 years old, and as of Thursday, June 11, my husband and I will have been married for 10 years! I run a public relations agency from home, so I get to spend 24/7 with our furbabies, Mackenzie, (dog) and Jinx (cat). I’ve also recently started hosting an infertility support podcast, Beat Infertility.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
We’ve been trying to conceive for four years now. During that time, I’ve had four miscarriages, six IVF transfers, two IVF egg retrievals, and lost twins during delivery. All the issues are on my side: endometriosis, MTHFR, luteal phase defect, and ovarian cysts.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
Right now, I’m a big fan of “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. 🙂
Q. You’ve been through several rounds of IVF. What advice would you give to someone about to start their first?
Several, ha, what an understatement! 😉 I’m about to start my seventh round, so you’d think I have plenty of advice. Let’s see… The injections are not nearly as scary as they look. Seriously. The level of terror I used to feel when seeing a needle simply cannot be put into words. But honestly, IVF changed that for me. Yes, it hurts for a bit, but then it goes away and you forget it ever happened. Trust me, girl, you can do this!
If your protocol calls for Menopur, mix it and then leave it sit for 15 minutes before injecting it. That stuff burns! But letting it sit out a bit helps take the edge off. And yes, that bright red patch on your stomach afterward is normal. 🙂
As often as you can, put yourself in a mindset where you are visualizing success. Visualize all the milestones — positive beta, beta doubling, first ultrasound, first heartbeat, graduating from your fertility clinic, etc. — all the way until the birth of your child. Visualizing doesn’t come easily, but with practice, it can be extremely helpful to the overall process.
Q. You’ve suffered several losses. How did you survive this and what would you tell someone facing similar circumstances?
That’s a tough question because honestly, I don’t know. People keep telling me how strong I am, and I respond that I cry a lot…so I don’t feel very strong! Then they tell me, “But you keep moving forward. That’s what makes you strong.”
I know in the deepest pits of my soul that I need to be a mother. Yes, in many ways I already am a mother, especially to my twins, Eric and Alexis. But I don’t feel like a mother because they aren’t here with me, and I only got to hold them such a precious short period of time.
Don’t let people tell you how to grieve or how long you should be grieving. I will grieve for the rest of my life, and that still won’t be long enough. And I’m fine with that. Only you know how you need to feel.
Don’t stop communicating with your partner. You will likely feel different things at different times, which can be extremely difficult. You might go through what I call “the roommate phase,” where you aren’t connecting on an intimate level. But if you keep those lines of communication open, you will get past it.
All you can do is keep moving forward.
Q. You’re currently hosting Beat Infertility, a podcast that shares the stories of women are currently navigating infertility and those who are “success stories.” What made you decide to do the podcast?
There are many support forums online, but in order to really get much out of them, you need to be “out” about your infertility and become an active participant. I wanted to create something where you can be as passive as you need to be and still get tremendous value.
As a professional writer, I love the written word…but I can tell you that it’s often hard to feel the emotion involved and the tone being used. The podcasting format fixes that, too!
But despite what you might think, it’s not a bunch of women crying…although I came close when recording Episode 05! When you listen, you’ll understand. But seriously, I wanted to make it a hopeful, positive atmosphere. I truly believe we can get through this together! We all just need a little help getting and remaining hopeful.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
For about a year after I lost the twins, I sadly didn’t take very good care of myself. When I had truly lost everything, my big butt and hips just didn’t seem to matter. But after my complete dud cycle in April, I realized I wanted to rejoin the living again. I started working out twice a day and I’m now back to my pre-twin weight. I look and feel fabulous (if I do say so myself LOL)!
My next cycle should be starting any day now, so I’ll obviously have to back off again. But I plan to get reacquainted with acupuncture.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
This is a great question! As a card-carrying member of the Type-A portion of society, I’ve always enjoyed control. Not in a mean way or anything, but I do like controlling as many aspects of my life as possible. I work from home because traffic can be a nightmare. I run my own business because bosses can be a nightmare. 😉 You get the idea.
But infertility is not something you can control. It is a disease — a physical disease. Sure, you can improve certain aspects of your life to help increase your chances, but it’s possible to do everything right and still not have success. And that’s OK. I’ve learned to control the parts I can control and leave the rest up to the powers that be.
Q. Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?
If you know you need to be a parent, like me, don’t give up hope. Things work in mysterious ways. The saying “When God closes a door, he opens a window” is so perfect here. When there’s hope, anything is possible.
Many thanks to Heather for sharing her story today. Please leave her a comment below to let her know you appreciate her.
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