Catie’s Infertility and PCOS Story

Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand.  This week, I’m chatting with Catie from Little Wood Project.  She’s one of the nominees for RESOLVE’s 2015 Hope Award for Best Blog and she shares her infertility and PCOS story with us.  Enjoy!

Q. Tell us a little about yourself.

I am a portrait photographer and I have been married to my husband, a database administrator, for six years. We live in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, although I am from California and he is an Army brat, having moved several times throughout his childhood. We got married when we were 26, and since we had spent the majority of our dating relationship long-distance, we wanted to spend our first couple of years as a married couple, just the two of us. I remember telling my husband that I figured we could start trying right around turning 30…since my mom had always told me that your fertility declines and becomes more complicated after 35 (she is a maternity nurse). We had no idea what lay ahead.

Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?

We have been trying to conceive since early 2013 after stopping birth control pills at the end of 2012. In 2012, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and had been put on birth control to regulate my periods since we were not trying to conceive. After coming off the pill, my periods came back on their own, but they ranged in irregularity from 31 days to 42 days in length. Finding out that I had PCOS was one of the answers as to why I had been having trouble losing weight. PCOS symptoms also include insulin resistance, unwanted facial hairs, sugar/carb cravings, irregular periods, anovulation, and infertility. Turns out that because of my PCOS symptoms, I was not ovulating regularly. We tried a couple rounds of Femara, a couple rounds of Clomid, and then two Clomid + trigger shot rounds. During the Femara rounds, I would go into the doctor to do a blood draw to confirm ovulation. Also, since my periods are irregular, the actual day of ovulation is kind of unpredictable. I was going to see my OBGYN for these first couple rounds of medicated cycles. One of the things she noticed is that my uterine lining was thin when they would do the ultrasounds to check on follicles. I had been referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist to address the thin lining issue, but I had a terrible experience where I felt like the doctor wasn’t listening to me and I just felt really overwhelmed at the entire process. Right now we’re in the process of meeting with a new Reproductive Endocrinologist. We had a great consultation and I feel very confident in this new doctor. She was kind, empathetic, really listened to our concerns and took a thorough history- completely different than the other doctor.

Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?

I have been finding the most encouragement in the form of infertility blogs (this one, especially) and a couple of Facebook groups that I am a part of. Every once and a while I will also look up infertility related hashtags on Instagram as well.

Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?

I think that I want to talk about it more and he tends to hold in more of his emotions.

Q. You’re nominated for RESOLVE’s 2015 Hope Award for Best Blog. What made you decide to blog about your journey?

After we had been trying to conceive for about a year, I realized how much more complicated starting a family was going to be. It felt as if everywhere I turned (especially on social media) everyone else was pregnant, recently gave birth, or was on their second or third child. I felt like I was the only one in my circle who was having trouble. As an outlet, I decided to start sharing my journey through blogging. While I was trying to find resources online, I came across a great number of infertility bloggers, and while infertility is not something I’d want anyone to struggle through, in a way it was comforting to know that I was not the only one. Community forms around common struggles and common triumphs. This happened to be the struggle variety.

Q.  How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?

Earlier this year, I decided that I was going to get really serious about my health and my weight. I have been overweight most of my life, and only recently understood that there was a reason I had more trouble losing weight than other women: PCOS. I joined an online fitness & nutrition accountability group that honestly changed my life. For the first time in many months, I was able to consistently lose weight.   The accountability & consistency was key. These little victories helped me to keep my mind off of our TTC journey. My husband and I make a point to have a date night once a week, even if it is just going out to dinner, going to see a movie, or watching a soccer match.

In the midst of this journey, I’ve definitely turned to my faith and strengthened my relationship with God. I was very happy to find the infertility devotional Sarah’s Laughter on the Bible App and then the daily emails (also from Sarah’s Laughter). It was very comforting to know how many cases of infertility are in the Bible and how God did the impossible in the lives of these women. I’ve also slowly but surely been learning to trust God daily with what is happening. I’m not in control and no matter what I may or may not do, ultimately, I have no control.

It’s really interesting that while dealing with infertility, I’ve connected with other friends (in person and online) who are going through the same thing. I remember telling my husband that I just wanted to find someone who I could talk to because those who are not in this fight don’t get it 100%. Only when you’re in the trenches can you fully understand. My prayers were answered and I’m thankful to have found other women that I can relate to.

Q.  What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?

During my most recent cycle, where I had taken Clomid and done a trigger shot, I got my period. I had told myself that I was not going to be sad or upset about it, but I was. I have never had a positive pregnancy test before, and I just had so much hope, only for the rug to be pulled out from under us. I know that it could have been worse circumstances…but nearly twenty months of “failure” was just too much to bear. Honestly, I survived it through binge-watching Netflix and having a couple of comfort meals.

Q.  Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?

Every time that I find myself complaining, I try to remind myself that I am in good health, I’m married to a wonderful man, and I have a loving, supportive family. I know that my circumstances could be far worse. The other silver lining has been finding community amongst those on their infertility journey.

Q.  Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?

You are not alone. The statistic says that infertility affects 1 in 8. I know that this journey is difficult, perhaps unexpected, and you just want to start your family. It feels especially discouraging if you have friends who seem to have no problems at all and you feel as if you are the only one struggling. I would encourage you to find others who are in this fight that you can relate to, whether it’s through a blog post, an Instagram photo, or Facebook status update. For example, a friend of mine blogged about her infertility experience. I was genuinely touched to read her post that I messaged her just to reach out and let her know that I understand. While it’s not what you might expect to connect on, it’s those connections that make you feel less alone and gives you hope.

Many thanks to Catie for sharing her infertility and PCOS story with us.  Please leave her a comment below to let her know you appreciate her.

If you liked this interview, be sure to check out all my other interviews, too.  

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