The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness. The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them. The Lord protects all those who love him, but he destroys the wicked. I will praise the Lord, and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever. – Psalm 145:17-21 (NLT)
Has your infertility ever made you question God’s sense of fairness? Ever since I was a child, I’ve had a very strong sense of what I considered fair and have vivid memories of protesting to my parents, “That’s not fair!”
How often have we stamped our feet or shaken our fists at God, protesting the unfairness of infertility? He grants everyone else’s wishes conceive, we say, so why is He silent when it comes to my desire for children?
But verse 17 tells us that God is fair, indeed. In fact, he’s more than fair; he’s kind. He is also responsive and close to everyone who calls on him (verse 18). He hears our cries for help. He rescues and protects us (verse 20).
This is all good, but how do we reconcile it with the fact that sometimes we don’t get what we want? Doesn’t the first part of verse 19 tell us that he grants our desires?
Let’s take a closer look at what the verse is saying. First of all, it does not say that God gives us everything we want. It says that those who fear Him will receive the desires of their heart. Fearing God means knowing God, worshipping God, and loving God. The more we get to know Him, the more our heart will reflect His. As we grow closer to God, His desires become our desires. And what is God’s desire? That we delight in Him (Psalm 37:4). If we draw near to God, He will become the desire of our heart. The Treasury of David Commentary says, “A holy heart only desires what a holy God can give, and so its desire is filled full out of the fulness of the Lord.”
I’ll admit that this is somewhat of a hard truth to swallow. Sometimes I wanted a baby more than I wanted to know God and His heart. If I’m honest, I find myself thinking, “Well, great. She gets a baby and I get to desire God. It’s not fair!”
For me, this is where an attitude adjustment comes in. It requires confession, intentional gratitude, and reflection on God’s character. God does not owe me a baby. Everything He gives me is a gift. To some, He has given the gift of children. To others, He may give the gift the gift of children, but just not yet. Others may never receive the gift of a child, but He will not leave them empty-handed, either. He has other miraculous, wonderful, and marvelous gifts in store for them (Matthew 7:11).
So when we are tempted to think of God as unfair and unresponsive, let us meditate on this passage and remind ourselves of His righteousness and responsiveness.
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