This post is part of the “Ask Me Anything” series. I answer reader-submitted questions about our experience with infertility and IVF.
B. asks, “Thank you for sharing your experience and your willingness to answer questions. We’ve found the hardest thing about infertility is the strain it puts on our relationship. Our marriage and sex life has undoubtedly been damaged through all of this. Did you guys go through any similar? If so, how did you make it through?”
The short answer is yes. We absolutely went through difficult times in our marriage and sex life. Last February I wrote a post for BlogHer about how we dealt with this. Rather than repeating all the details here, I encourage you to read the original post.
One thing I didn’t mention in the original post is the importance of professional counseling. I highly recommend that couples see a counselor or therapist during infertility, either together or separately. A trained professional can help you and your spouse work through some of the issues that come up in your marriage during infertility, including changes in your sex life.
These challenges will probably not end when fertility treatments do. If you’re successful with your treatments, you’ll be dealing with issues that pregnancy, breastfeeding and other postpartum issues bring. And if treatments fail you’ll be dealing with emotional issues that may affect you physically. Processing all these complex emotions on your own will be extremely difficult. Do what you can to find a professional counselor or therapist. If money is an issue, ask around for sliding-scale fees or see if a local church offers lower-cost counseling or resources. You can also try an online counseling service, like Faithful Counseling. They are fully-licensed, online professional Christian counselors and their rates are much lower than most in-person counselors.
Above all, I encourage you to not despair. Pray consistently. Be intentional about doing things to strengthen your marriage. Seek counseling. Infertility does not have to destroy your marriage.
If you have a question you’d like to submit for Ask Me Anything, you can do so here.
Image courtesy of BossFight.
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