Today’s post is a guest post by Abbey Clark. She blogs at Be the Light and I’m so honored she was willing to share part of her story here.
Please note: Abbey shares her experience with how she and her husband came to discern that God was leading them towards IVF. Both Abbey and I understand that the Holy Spirit may lead different couples down different paths and by no means are we saying that everyone should make the same decision she did.
My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for a little over two and half years. Approximately one year ago we started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. Despite multiple attempts with hybrid, progesterone, clomid and one IUI we were unable to conceive and were instructed to proceed with IVF.
I had many reservations about pursuing IVF and often asked myself, “How far is too far?” My relationship with God is very important and I often find myself questioning the strength of my faith throughout our infertility journey. I was excited about the possibilities with IVF but I couldn’t help escaping this idea that IVF made me weak. It felt like if I chose to pursue IVF I was telling God I didn’t trust Him and His plans. I felt weak because I didn’t want to wait another month. I kept praying that God would remove this desire for me to have a baby so that I could make him proud and wait on him but the desire kept growing stronger and stronger.
Last month my husband and I decided to pursue IVF for the first time. The decision did not come easily but I believe that God is watching over us throughout this process. I stumbled upon a verse shortly after making our decision which reminded that it’s okay to be weak sometimes. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”
I think for a long time I wanted God to reassure me that by pursuing this or that He would bless us with a child. However, God has assured us He is not angry or upset with me for my desires. He put those desires in me for a reason and He can use anything and everything to fulfill His will for my life. It’s not up to me to decide how He does it. I just need to pray for His provision and listen for His voice. He will lead the way.
Abbey and her husband live in a small town near Ann Arbor, Michigan called Clinton. They have been blessed with an amazing marriage for the last five years. Their faith in God is of the most importance to them and it is truly their desire to follow His will for their life. Although God has taken them through a period of waiting they believe that God is faithful, loving and merciful and he will not leave them alone in this journey. You can read more on her blog.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay
I think making the decision to do IVF is never an easy one. Very few people begin the TTC journey thinking they’ll end up there. But it’s the best decision for many. Best wishes to you!
So true, Jen. I remember thinking, “Oh, we’ll probably have to do an IUI,” and never even considering the fact that it might not work and IVF would be our only option. The good news is that most people don’t end up having to do IVF!
These are the same doubts that have been running through my mind as we get closer to our IVF consultation after 4 IUI cycles and one miscarriage. Still hoping for our miracle though! While it doesn’t necessarily make it any easier, I find such great comfort knowing that there are other couples out there going through the same struggle. Your blog has been a blessing to me and my husband during this season in our life!
Thank you for such kind words, Amanda. I pray your IVF consultation would go well and that God would grant you your miracle soon.
Your story is almost exactly like mine. I’m going through infertility treatments now. I’ve only taken clomid and it hasn’t worked yet. I’m going to get an ultrasound tomorrow and then get a shot. My husband is very against IUI and IVF and he won’t let me get that for the same reason you mentioned- the issue of not trusting God. We’ve been trying to have a baby for over 3 years and I’ve never been pregnant.
I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this for 3 years, Lily. And I’m sorry you and your husband aren’t on the same page. That is so very difficult. I encourage you to try to get some counseling from a professional counselor, therapist, or clergy. They may be able to help you two find some common ground. If cost is an issue, ask around for someone with a sliding-scale fee. Praying for God’s blessing on you. Hugs.
I am very sorry to hear this Lily. I often thought waiting was the hardest part of the journey. It may be hard to accept your husbands wishes but it is important and you and your husband are on the same page before pursuing IVF because it can take a wear on physical and emotionally. I do believe God has a plan and your husband might just be guiding you there. Don’t lose hope! Your miracle could be right around the corner.
Thank you all for your comments. I am blessed to say that our first round of IVF was sucessful! We are only 10 weeks at this time but there is no doubt it in my mind that God was/is with us on this journey. After finding out we were pregnant there was still a lot of uncertainity and God used these moments of uncertainity to prove his strength and mercy. I know we made the right decision and not simply because we are pregnant but because God used it to draw us closer to him.
Such great news, Abbey!
We struggled with that as well. I also struggled because I personally believe once an egg is fertilized a baby has been created and in discussing with our doctor, they fertilize several and choose the best ones. I just couldn’t. We didn’t choose to go that route but we’re equally blessed with a healthy baby in the end. I’m so glad you are expecting and I hope all goes well. God leads us all on different journeys and your story will definitely serve as encouragement for others 🙂