A few months ago I wrote a post about three things I’d do differently during infertility treatments. That post got me thinking about what I wish I would’ve done differently at the beginning of my journey, right after my infertility diagnosis. I thought I’d share them with you today in hopes that they might be helpful for someone who is just starting out on this journey herself.
1. More Education
I’m embarrassed to admit now how little I knew about my body and about reproduction before I started trying to conceive. I mean, I knew the basics, but that’s about it! I didn’t realize a woman could only get pregnant a few days per cycle and I had no idea what ovulation was. I thought a woman was fertile if her period came regularly (which mine did). Only after I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility did I gain a complete understanding of what it takes to get pregnant. If I had to do it again, I’d learn about all of this long before I started trying to conceive. I would have realized a lot quicker that my luteal phase was too short and I would’ve saved myself months frustrating timed intercourse cycles.
I also would have taught myself a little more about nutrition for fertility. My diet was not so great, and while I don’t believe nutrition is always a sure cure for infertility, improving my overall health definitely wouldn’t have hurt me.
2. Less Google, More God
I love reading and learning. I’m a librarian by profession. So naturally, I spent hours researching, Googling, reading blogs and message boards, and scrolling through Twitter. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but at certain times it got to a point where it became obsessive. Infertility was the only thing I was learning and reading about. I couldn’t have a conversation with my husband without bringing it up. And most of all, all that research cut into the time I’d normally spend reading my Bible, reading devotional books, or praying. If I had to do it again, I’d set boundaries for myself. I’d limit myself to a reasonable amount of time spend researching each day or week, and I’d have someone (not my husband) hold me accountable.
3. Get a Second Opinion
We live in a city with only one fertility specialist. I discovered him because I Googled “infertility doctor” and the name of our city. Let me stress that I am extremely happy with our RE and I don’t regret going to him at all. We are so blessed to have received such high-quality care so close to home. However, I think it’s wise for most couples to seek out a second opinion before starting treatment (especially if you’re paying out-of-pocket). There are several more clinics about an hour’s drive from us, and it would have been very prudent for us to at least see a consultation at one of them before starting IVF.
4. Share My Story (Sooner)
Finally, I wish I would’ve started sharing my story sooner. My first blog post wasn’t until after our IUIs, and then it was anonymous for awhile. I don’t believe anyone should share their story (especially on the internet) before they are ready, but in my case, fear was the only thing holding me back. Once I put my name and face to my story, I received so much support and connected with so many women (both in-person and online). I wish I would have opened up sooner, at least in real-life.
I’d love to hear what you readers would do differently. Please feel free to share in the comments below.
If you’re looking for more encouragement during infertility, be sure to check out my book, 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility.
Last image courtesy of Deposit Photos. Used with permission.
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