Today’s post is a guest post by Roxanne from Grace Filled Waiting. I’m honored she was willing to share part of her story with us today.
Early on in our infertility journey we did three rounds of IUI’s. After the first one failed my husband was diagnosed as having a low sperm count, bad motility and morphology, and a varicocele. The doctor suggested that if we wanted to continue with any additional IUI’s we should consider donor sperm for our best chance of success.
We had to take some time to discuss and pray about this. There is a lot to consider in this option and we had to be able to live with our decision for the rest of our lives. There were several heartfelt talks with my husband about how each of us really felt about this option. Were we really okay with it? What were our concerns? How would it affect our marriage? How would we handle other people’s reactions and opinions? This is not exactly an option that is talked about very much and seems to be a bit taboo to some.
Ultimately, we decided that this was a path that we wanted to pursue. I will never forget sitting at the computer going through the list of potential donors. It was very surreal to be sitting there looking through the particular traits, personalities and even hobbies and talents of these people and trying to find a match that was most like my husband. We knew though, that no matter how close of a match we chose, the fact-of-the-matter is that the child would not share my husband’s DNA. Was he really okay with that? I almost felt like I was cheating on him. There were a lot of emotions swirling through my mind that day staring at the computer.
My husband has shared with me many times that the most difficult part of the journey for him has been the fact that he has not been able to fix it. It has been hard for him to see me grieve and still desire a baby and not be able to give me what I had most longed for. Although he was hurting and going through grief himself, he was always very supportive and conscientious of my feelings and emotions.
We ended up doing two rounds of donor sperm IUI’s, both of which were unsuccessful. However, that time drew us closer together because we had to have many honest conversations with one another and with God in making the best decisions for us at the time.
One of the things to remember when walking this journey and going through procedures is that God’s opinion is the only one that matters when deciding what is best for you and your husband. Don’t let others people’s advice or negative opinions be the driving force behind your decisions. Follow after God and He will take care of the rest.
I’d love to hear from those of you who made the decision to use a sperm donor. How did you decide that was the route for you? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Roxanne has been married for 20 years and understands all too well this difficult road of infertility. Roxanne has gone through surgery, 3 failed IUI’s and a failed IVF. Through it all, Roxanne has experienced God’s amazing grace and has been healed from the pain of infertility. Her desire is to see other women healed from the grief and pain of infertility physically, mentally and spiritually and to see them walk in the destiny that God has planned for them. Roxanne would be honored to walk alongside you on your own infertility journey.
If you’re looking for more encouragement during infertility, be sure to check out my book, 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility.
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