A reader asks, “Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently if you had to go through treatments again?”
That’s easy. I’d take better care of myself.
I was so frazzled and exhausted during my treatments and most of it was my fault. I didn’t do a very good job at taking care of myself. If I had to do it again, here are three things I’d do differently.
1. Reduce Stress & Commitments
IVF is one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. It requires last-minute doctor appointments and lab visits. You have to plan everything around those visits and your medications. Life gets very complicated.
My first cycle was the most stressful. The process was unfamiliar and left me feeling physically and emotionally drained. In addition to my day job, I gave piano lessons after work. I know I was a horrible teacher during that cycle because I was just utterly exhausted and didn’t care about piano lessons. I learned my lesson in future cycles and canceled all lessons during IVF.
But if I had to do it again, I think I’d go a step further. I’d say “no” to more social outings and events. Some of the most stressful moments of IVF occurred when I had to give myself injections at a party, a restaurant, or somewhere other than home. On one particular evening, my husband and I had to use the one-person restroom that was located at the back of a kitchen in a restaurant so he could give me my progesterone shot. I could feel all the eyes of the kitchen staff on us as we both went into the tiny, one-person restroom and came out 5 minutes later. Who knows what was running through their heads. I’m not saying I’d turn into a recluse during IVF, but I’d choose my social events more wisely.
2. Rest More
IVF left me exhausted. Yet I tried to keep up the same level of housework and errand-running that I usually do. I continued to get up early for church on Sundays and went to bed at my usual (too-late) time. I got better with each cycle, but if I had to do it again I’d put more emphasis on rest. I’d hire a housecleaner (or ask a loved one for help) for the month, delegate or eliminate my errands, and be stricter about going to bed early. And yes, I would skip church in order to sleep and rest. Church can be an emotional land-mine during infertility, especially when you’re in treatment, and it was very difficult for me. I found it to be more draining than filling, and I would take a break during treatments if I had to do it again.
3. Eat better
I’ve always been a picky eater. I want to eat healthy, but certain foods just make me gag, no matter how hard I try. So I have to be very intentional about what I eat.
During my IVF cycles, I made goals about what I wanted to cut from my diet. I got rid of caffeine, gluten, and potato chips. But I wish I had made more goals about what I wanted to add to my diet. If I had to do it again, I would focus on planning ahead, cooking ahead, and adding more healthy foods.
What would you have done differently during your IVF cycle? Feel free to share in the comments below.
If you’re looking for more encouragement during infertility, be sure to check out my book, 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility.
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