I’m so happy to be bringing you an interview with Jessi from Life Abundant. Her blog’s tagline is “A Blog About Life and Living It Abundantly In Spite of PCOS.” I love that she is focusing on abundant life and I think you’ll be encouraged by what she has to say.
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I’ve been married to my husband for over ten years. It wasn’t very long into our marriage that our journey with infertility began. It started with my first ovarian cyst and my cycle completely stopping. From there, it became a downward spiral of doctor’s visits, blood tests, ultrasounds, HSGs, and a world of anovulatory cycles that required medical intervention.
A year into our journey, we conceived our daughter on 50mg Clomid, 1,000mg Metformin, and a Novarel trigger. Little did we know, that was only the beginning of our journey with infertility.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
#1 took 1 year. I’m currently in my 6th year of trying to bring home baby #2. I have PCOS, my husband has some male factor infertility, although mild. I’ve had one miscarriage.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, movies, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
When I was first diagnosed, I found solace in the online community of SoulCysters.net. I was a part of a couple of different groups on there, and we eventually migrated over to Facebook, where we still stay close today. Since then, the blog community has been the absolute biggest support system I’ve had, and I’ve made lifelong friends through them.
Additionally, the women’s group at my church has been an absolute Godsend. They have encouraged me and lifted me up over the years in ways I can’t even explain.
And then there is the most important friend in my life next to my husband… my best friend, Shontel. She has endured six miscarriages, an MTHFR diagnosis, and a lot of heartache, yet she hopes. She always maintains hope. She taught me how to keep my faith in Jesus strong through the darkest moments.
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
I think we handle it pretty differently. While we both have hope for the future, his hope is definitely greater. I find I mourn more than he does, but he’s always been wonderful when I’ve needed to cry on his shoulder.
Q. What made you decide to blog about your journey?
I didn’t want to feel alone, and I knew there had to be other women out there who were experiencing the same thing. It was actually my church’s founding pastor who encouraged me to be more public about my journey, because he knew there were women in our own church who were facing infertility and felt alone. Turns out, I was very much in good company… several woman have come forward over the years with hugs, their stories, and their kind words of “you’re not alone”.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
This is a constant rollercoaster. I go from feeling super-hopeful and inspired to eat better, exercise, take the right supplements, etc… to feeling incredibly down about myself and like I am wasting my time. It takes no time at all for my weight to spiral out of control. No time. Since the miscarriage it has been a complete downward spiral. I did one round of 21-Day Fix (which I normally love) to pick myself back up and move forward… but since then I’ve been lost and uninspired to do anything healthy. It’s hard.
Q. Please share your thoughts on returning to fertility treatments after the birth of your daughter in order to try for baby #2. Did it feel different or the same the second time around?
It was so very different. I found that what worked to conceive her was no longer an option. My Clomid response declined as each cycle passed, and as we increased the doses up to 150mg… Femara was a non-responsive drug for me, even on the highest dose. We eventually turned to the injectable drug Follistim, and I needed a dose higher than my doctor had ever prescribed just to get a decent response. It was so hard on me and the worst rollercoaster ride of the entire infertility journey. I felt like such a huge failure.
Q. You endured a miscarriage while trying for your second baby. How did you survive this?
“Survive” is a good word. I didn’t know how I’d pull out of this one. This was the ultimate failure for me. I had waited five years for that pregnancy, and to lose it felt so cruel. I didn’t understand why God would allow that pregnancy after all that time… and for it to be a naturally conceived pregnancy… only for him to call that baby home. I’ve never felt such anguish in my life. Never. My best friend Shontel walked me through everything… from what to expect, to when I’d know it was over, to how to pick up and move forward. She was my guiding light through that loss. Knowing she has six babies in Heaven, and yet now has her second living baby… that hope helps me survive.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
Absolutely. Without it, the friendships I have today wouldn’t be the same or even exist. Shontel and I connected over our experience with infertility. Logan from WithGreatExpectation.com and I have become extremely close since she moved back to Tennessee, and our friendship wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for our mutual call to blog about PCOS. Infertility stinks big time, but without it, the beautiful relationships I’ve made wouldn’t even exist, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Q. Anything else you’d like to share with my readers?
Find your tribe and latch on. Without a tribe of people to walk through this journey with you, it’s way worse than it should be. Whether that tribe is online or in your own community, find those women and dive in. Open your heart. You never know who else is silently suffering out of shame and needs to know she isn’t alone. You may be the one person to change her life.
Many thanks to Jessi for sharing her story with us today. Be sure to check out her blog, Life Abundant. You can also connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.
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