“Just because I have a uterus doesn’t mean I’ve used it.”
This is what I used to say every Mother’s Day (sometimes out loud and sometimes just to myself) back in my 20s when I was unmarried and abstinent.
Long before I experienced the pain of Mother’s Day during infertility, I was sensitive to the fact that not all women of childbearing age who attend church on Mother’s Day are actually mothers. I was frustrated that ushers greeted me with “Happy Mothers Day!” or handed me a flower even though I walked through the doors alone. I knew that many of my single friends experienced the same thing.
Despite my sensitivity, I don’t think I was fully aware that even married women might find it painful. Many years and many infertility treatments later, I now know that attending church on Mother’s Day can be an emotional minefield for women of all ages and life stages.
The single woman who longs for a husband and family.
The married woman struggling to conceive.
The birth mother who made the brave, yet heartbreaking decision to place her child with another family.
A mother whose child only lived a short time, or maybe died before even leaving the womb.
Women who have lost their older children— to a tragic accident, drugs, disease, or family conflicts.
So if you’re at church on Mother’s Day (and especially if you’re in leadership), I challenge you to be sensitive to the stories and situations of the women in your congregation. Yes, motherhood is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated. But let’s not make the assumption that all women in church fit the traditional definition of “mother.” Here are some suggestions:
Pause and think before rushing to wish someone a “Happy Mother’s Day.”
Acknowledge the different ways mothers are represented.
Avoid elevating motherhood as the ultimate Christian goal of womanhood.
Celebrate the beauty of mothers and motherhood, yet offer support and comfort to those who may find it difficult.
How does your church acknowledge the different definitions of motherhood on Mother’s Day? Please feel free to share in the comments!
Related posts…
Going to Church on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day Wishes for Women Struggling With Infertility
Start Asking Your Church to Be Aware of Infertility
Church and Infertility: An Interview With Three Pastors
Looking for more encouragement during infertility? Check out my books, 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility and 31 Days of Scripture During Infertility.
Images courtesy of IvoryMix.
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