Each week I interview someone who has experienced infertility firsthand. This week I’m so happy to interview Jessica. Today, she shares more about her infertility and endometriosis story. I hope it encourages you as much as it did me.
Q. Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a 34 year old who is happily married to a man who adores me. I am a Christian school teacher who loves any church ministry I can get my hands into. My husband and I are active in our local church, sing together, and love spending time together. I enjoy playing the piano and hunting for a bargain.
Q. How long have you been trying to conceive and what issues are you facing?
We have been TTC for 4 ½ years. I have stage IV endometriosis which was responsible for the removal of one of my ovaries two years ago. I have had six surgeries for the endo which has not resolved any issues, only served to slow things down. I spend my periods in the ER getting shots of narcotics to calm the pain that comes with the endo. I am not able to take fertility drugs due to the chance that they could send my endo over the top.
Q. Which books, quotes, websites, verses, songs, etc. have been an encouragement to you during your journey?
- Books – the Bible…It doesn’t get much better than that!
- Songs – “The Potter Knows the Clay” by The Perry’s
- Websites – Amateur Nester was one of the first blogs I came across that really encouraged me. I was so excited to find it.
- Verses – I Corinthians 10:13- “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
Q. Do you and your spouse cope with infertility in the same way or do you handle it differently?
Oh, this question makes me laugh! My husband and I are as opposite as can be! I am high stressed, an over achiever and a big dreamer who may tend to worry and stress about things…occasionally…or more than occasionally! He is steady, easy going and solid. I have struggled with infertility, questioned and cried many tears. He on the other hand has never questioned. Although he has wished for children (sometimes even more than me), he has accepted this as God’s will for our lives. He has never let it get to him or gotten stressed about it. He has been a solid rock through all of this. As I have struggled many times with infertility, he gently and lovingly reminds me that this is God’s plan for our life and we need to trust Him. I am so thankful for my husband.
Q. How have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your struggles?
I have made sure to make God the centre of my life spiritually. We are in an amazing church where we hear good Bible based messages each service. I also make sure to listen to good Christian music.
I also have amazing friends who have been a huge source of encouragement to me. I also have an amazing medical support network. My doctor and her team are better than I could ever imagine. The nurses and doctors at my small, local hospital are amazing. When I enter through those doors each month I am treated with so much care and concern! God has blessed me!
I am not always the best at taking care of myself physically, but am working to do better at it.
Q. What has been your lowest point and how did you survive it?
One of my lowest points came after my surgery to remove my ovary. When it came time to leave the recovery room, I found out that there was only one room available in the entire women’s hospital. It was on the maternity/new mother’s ward. I was wheeled up there and spent the next day or two listening to newborn babies crying and new mothers congratulated and watching pregnant women walk by. It was crushing. I had just gone through one of the most difficult surgeries of my life, knowing that my chances of conceiving were greatly reduced, and I was subjected to this difficulty. I thought that I would never get over that horrible memory. But looking back, the pain has eased some and the memory doesn’t sting so badly any more. Sometimes when you are going through a valley, you think you will never get through it. It seems so deep and hurtful. You don’t know if there is hope past this trial, but each time God is good and He is always there through it all.
Q. Have you been able to find a “silver lining” in your infertility?
Yes, there have been many silver linings in this journey. God has used this journey to change me. I am a different person than the person that walked into this journey.
It has also brought my husband and me closer. When you start your marriage by being barely able to get out of bed and struggling through incredible pain, you quickly realize what is important.
It has helped me to be able to sympathize with those who are hurting and going through difficult times. It has also made me more compassionate.
Then there are the fun things that I would give up in a heartbeat if God gave us a child, but for now we will enjoy them. We never need a babysitter when we go out with other couples. We can sleep in when we want to. We don’t have to make hard parenting decisions. We get private one-on-one time whenever we are together!
Q. Anything else you’d like to tell my readers?
This verse has put it all into perspective for me so many times! II Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”
Many thanks to Jessica for sharing her story. Please leave her a comment to let her know you appreciate her!
Thanks for sharing your story! I love that 2 Corin verse! So true!
Jess, You and Jon have always been so encouraging to me through my own
fertility struggles. I am so glad that God gave my little brother such a
wonderful wife! I know that God has great adventures in store for you guys! ;o) I love you guys!
Jessica, I was crying for you when I read about how you had to recover in the maternity but then you wrote the following that made me smile at my own issues, “Sometimes when you are going through a valley, you think you will never get through it. It seems so deep and hurtful. You don’t know if there is hope past this trial, but each time God is good and He is always there through it all.” You sound like such an amazing person! Thank you for allowing us to get to know you better here!