My Infertility Box

This is a guest post from Jess. 

Recently while doing some cleaning, I came across a box filled with sentimental papers and mementos. As I went through that box, I saw things that brought back sad memories, such as funerals, friends that now live far away, and harder times in life. I also saw some things in that box that brought back some happy memories, such as weddings, trips and other fun events!

I also have an “infertility” box. It’s a box that no one else can see. It’s tucked away in my heart. The box is full, sometimes I think there isn’t room for anything else.

I have some sad mementos in there. The memory of being told that I’ll probably never have children. Recollections of lying on the table in that cold operating room so many times. The tears I cried as others got pregnant, and I didn’t. Memories of so many nights of pain and agony as I battled endometriosis. The feelings of hope that were dashed each month with no pregnancy. Reflecting on the monthly, sometimes weekly trips to the doctor.

There are happy mementos in that box as well. I have more happy things in that box than sad things! I am constantly working at putting happy things in there! Who wants to open a box that is filled with things that bring back just sad memories? 

I have special Bible verses in there. Verses that became special to me when God closed the door to adoption for us or verses that I clung to when I struggled with why we didn’t have children. There are verses that others have given to me when they have written me notes or sent me texts.

I have filled that box with memories of people who have listened to my struggles. There are keepsake prayers that people have prayed for me. There are mementos of the dearest friends who have walked this road with me.

This box is also filled with encouraging notes, emails, and cards from some wonderful people. There are meals and baked goods that people have dropped off when I have been too sick to cook. There are special little gifts that people have given to me.

You see, as many hard times as there are; there are good times too! I can focus on the difficult things and fill my life with those; or I can choose to remember all the good things from those times. If I focus on the difficult things, my life will be filled with bitterness and sadness. If I choose to focus on the blessings that God has brought my way, I will be filled thankfulness and joy. As humans, we tend to focus on the hard things of life rather than all the wonderful things that God has done for us.

So today, as you go through your box, remember the words of Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

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